La Sallista si Girl, Atenista si Boy

DIYES: Your Loss, I'm Found

DIYES

"Now that's utterly rad!" Napasigaw na lang bigla si Sethere.

Tapos na yung interview ni Athen at kasalukuyang pinapalabas yung mga unforgettable plays niya sa NBA. I can only hear the commentators and the screaming people.

Sinubukan kong hindi humarap sa direction nung TV. Actually mahirap mag-pigil kasi kahit papaano nakaka-curious malaman kung mas magaling na ba talaga siya. Pero nag-promise na ako sa sarili ko na as much as possible, I would like to make Athen less significant in my life. Although hindi ko na siya totally mabubura because of Augustus, I'll try harder.

"Yeni. Hindi mo sinasabi na ganito pala kagaling 'tong kumag na 'to kaya naman pala nahulog ka ng sobra." Kinakausap pa din ako ni Sethere kahit na dapat ay tulog ako sa paningin niya.

Hindi ako sumagot pero gusto ko na siyang barahin. Yes, I did fell hard but that doesn't mean that I can rise again and live my own life. Hindi na dapat umikot pa ang mundo ko sa isang tao.

"He is so dope. Look at those crossovers. Damn it. I'm sure those girls are going crazy about him." Pagpaparinig ulit ni Seth. I tried so hard to contain my emotions. I am starting to get pissed.

He has gotten a lot better. I already knew the first time he played as a point guard for Ginebra that he got those chops and he was very special. He never disappoints.

Tss. Pati yung commentator nakikisali sa pangpipikon sa akin. Really? Never disappoints? Not all people! He disappointed me... A LOT! As in all capital letters, L-O-T! Yes, he might be very excellent in playing basketball but he is a flop when it comes to being a man.

"Hindi mo ba papanoorin? He improved so much. Grabe naman pala yung efforts niya after he sacrificed the both of you." Patuloy pa din sa pagsasalita si Seth. "Why can't you just accept his goals and be with him all through out? Why do you always want his attention? Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit na-iinsecure ka pa kahit na engaged na kayo?" Dugtong pa niya.

I can't take this anymore. Stop blaming me for fuck's sake. Of course, I admit naman na may kasalanan din ako but he has the bigger responsibility, he has the bigger choice pero bakit ako pa din ang mali?

I immediately sat up. Hindi ko hinayaang matalo ako ng vertigo, humawak lang ako mabuti sa railings ng bed and Seth is already holding me. I pushed his hands away after maging stable ang pagkakaupo ko.

"Sinong matinong tao ang mang-iiwan ng fiancee a few months before her graduation day? A few months before your planned wedding date? Who believes in every single word his fans say? Who trusts those bitches way more than me? Fuck Seth, alam mo naman yung nangyari di ba? How come you're on his side this time? Huh?" Naiiyak kong rant sa kanya. I am starting to hate him at this very moment.

"Sshh. Okay fine, I'm sorry. Stop crying. Hindi ako nag-iisip bago ko sinabi yun. Sorry na." Ramdam ko naman yung sincerity ni Seth pero nasimulan ko na kasi maglabas na naman ng sama ng loob kaya hindi ko na mapigilan.

"Bakit kasi sinabi mo pa yun? Oo na insecure na ako pero alam mo naman kung paano ang kilos ng mga fans niya dito. They are destroying my life! And for the win, I never really had his attention for quite some time na. It was always basketball and fans. No time for me, at all. Tapos ngayon may Jeanie na naman siya. Tangina naman kasi Seth, ang dami ko nang hirap tapos gaguhan lang pala. Nakakabaliw na eh." I sobbed. I totally forgot about this.

For the past months, kaya ko naman ng wala siya. Kaya kong tanggapin yung mga harsh advice sa akin ng barkada. Kaya kong tanggapin na tanga ako, insecure at kasalanan ko lahat. Nakakapanibago ngayon, nagbbreakdown na naman ako.