Rescued: A Nyssara Story

Chapter 35

SARA:
This is strange. As we rip each others tops off with such haste, it almost feel like a battle. Not a battle of speed, no, but a battle for dominance.

Nyssa looks at me with purpose rather than with the attentiveness she used to have for me, and it sends a wave of adrenaline through my body. 

She takes my pants off and then I sit up to try to do the same to her, but she mounts me before I can do it. She holds the side of my neck with her thumb gripping under my chin and holds me to her kiss.

The volcano wasn't a tension for Nyssa. It wasn't even a tension for sex. This was a tension of wanting to dominate, or dare I say, to domineer. I don't know, to just feel power.

Have I gotten to the point already that taking the lives of random people doesn't give me a sense of power and control anymore? I feel like I am losing my sense of remorse. I don't feel anything at all. I want this tension to be released, if not through Nyssa, then something else. I'm tired of not feeling anything.

As Nyssa trails her lips down my stomach, I can finally speak.

"Stop," I breathe.

She stops and looks at me. I sit up so we are nearly face to face. I grip her neck and chin as she did to me a minute ago.

"Let me fuck you," is all I say.

She raises her eyebrows in surprise, but doesn't move.

"You want to 'fuck' me?"

"Very much, Heiress," I say as I scan from her waist back to her face.

Nyssa pulls back, gets off of me, and stands next to the bed.

"Who even are you? Are you really my Sara or are you Ta-er al-Sahfer because I am certain that my belovèd would never call me 'Heiress' in my bedchambers."

This question makes me sit up and think for a moment because I actually don't know the answer.

"I...think I'm both...or neither..."

"Are you having an identity crisis?"

I ponder a moment to try to find the words to articulate what I'm feeling.

"I feel like...a shell."

Nyssa sits next to me and puts a blanket over my shoulders.

"Why did you start this between us? We were doing well."

"I didn't start anything. You got drunk and said shit. If you hadn't I don't think this would have happened."

"You kissed me when I was dismissing you from my bedchambers."

"You didn't stop me. You're my superior after all. Why wouldn't you stop me?"

She clenches her jaw and sighs. "You are right. Can we agree that we are both at fault here?"

"I can accept that, yes."

"So why the sudden urge to 'fuck' me? How would that make you feel less like a shell, as you put it?"

I smile. "I like when you say 'fuck.'"

She chuckles. "Well, I usually avoid such crass language but this is about what you said to me. That word implies to me that you want my body for sex, which is completely normal. Or perhaps you wish to become dominant towards me because I am your superior. Are either of these assumptions correct?"

I stop to think for a moment because I really don't know what I feel. Do I want her? Like really want her? Do I love her? Do I even possess the ability to love? Does it even matter?

"Do you love me?" I ask.

"What would happen if I said yes?"

"It would prove to me that it's possible. That even after becoming the Canary that I am still human."

"Sara, I don't believe that I will ever stop loving you. What I said while inebriated was true," she says calmly. "I can see that you're hurting. And I must admit a flaw with me in that I am unsure how to heal wounds that reside in one's mind, other than completely rewriting it with Lazarus water or ritual. If you have any idea how I can help you, I wish for you to tell me. You are my responsibility."

I take the blanket off to reveal my naked body to the air again. "I still want to fuck you."

She sighs. "Enough with that word."

"Yes, Heiress," I say cheekily.

She looks unamused. "And enough with calling me that in my bedchambers."

I smile a little and nod.

Nyssa stands, undoes her pants, and gets completely naked. I smile as I witness her beautiful body in its entirety for the first time in a long time.

She bends down to meet me face to face and caresses my neck and cheek.

"I trust that what happens in my bedchambers will stay in your mind, and shall never leave your memories. No one can know of us."

"Obviously."

She smiles and then kisses me softly.

"I am yours tonight. Make it count," she whispers in my ear.

I pull her back to me and kiss her with any and all passion that I have in my body.

NYSSA:
I never would have even thought of ever being submissive again before meeting Sara. The only time I was at least a little submissive was during my first time having sex with a woman when I was 18 years old. I was trying to befriend a Duchess in the League's only covert operation that has ever taken place in my lifetime, perhaps at all. She had intel that we needed and it was up to me to get it out of her.

She took to me immediately and within mere days being acquainted, she proposed that we should become lovers. I agreed only because I still needed to get the information from her.

It took me only a few minutes with the Duchess  in her bed to realize that I liked being with her as a woman, but wanted to be the one that took control. The Duchess was particularly interested in astrology and blamed my Taurus zodiac sign on my behavior. I am still unsure what any of that astrology stuff means anyway.

All I know now is that Sara is hurting. She is hurting because of me. I still hold a guilt buried deep inside for not having brought her back home when I found her on the island. She was never meant for this pain. I, however, was always destined to be The Demon's Head. The pain I endure is meant for me. And if I could be the one who holds the pain for the both of us, I would.

The looming dread of this moment with her being a one-time occurrence stings deep under my skin, making me almost itch to run away with her and never look back.

But instead, I submit to her. I live in the moment for her. I allow her to explore me and do what she wants with me because she deserves to have everything that I have to offer right now when this may be one of the only times we are together like this alone.

She pushes me not to the bed, but to the wall behind me, which was unexpected to say the least.

She presses her body firmly against mine and plants her hands on the wall on each side of me. She kisses me and starts stroking my hair behind my ears, then trails her fingertips down from my clavicle to my hips. She slides her knee in between my thighs while she places her other hand on my shoulder and slides it to the back of my neck, where she knows I like it.

I run my fingertips down her sides and she smiles in our kiss for a moment before biting my lower lip, pulling back slightly, then releasing it.

I chuckle softly. "I reckon you can do better than that," I say trying to rile her up further.

The look of determination that entered her expression in that moment is almost palpable. I think my comment may have shifted her goal of ravaging me to a goal to impress me. Her persistence and her need to be the best radiates from her body as she drills her lips into mine with such desperation.