Rescued: A Nyssara Story

Chapter 10

SARA: Nyssa bites her lip once more.

"I care for you, Nyssa," I say to her, biting my lip, too.

She smiles. "I will always care for you, my little bird."

Her words echo through my head and they pull me closer, closer, and closer to her until I'm kissing her once more. She takes my face and strokes my hair as she kisses me back and my mind goes into a mental utopia. The cliché depicted with sparks flying when you kiss someone is not just some silly metaphor. I feel it. The sparks. They are real and they are transformative.

She digs into our kiss and we move together in slow fluid waves. And when she rests her hand on my side, it sends shivers through my whole body.

I want this. I want her. I need her.

I run my hand up underneath her shirt but then she pulls her lips from mine and stops my hand. She looks at me with a serious expression then it softens as she strokes my face.

"Sara, you do not need to do that..."

I place my hand on her hand that's on my hot face. "What if I want to?.." I ask as I bite my lip out of nervousness.

She sighs softly. "Perhaps if I saw you as a lover I would indulge, but alas, I do not."

I step back a little. "You don't want me?" I ask a little confused as to what she meant.

She steps in closer. "Oh, on the contrary, Sara. I do want you. Perhaps more than I should..."

"What do you mean?"

She thinks for a moment and chooses her words carefully. "I've recently noticed some physiological and emotional reactions I have towards you. Some that I've never experienced before for another or a lover. As we sat in bed together, I did feel the urge to kiss you. Not to kiss you because I wanted to take you in my bed as I would a lover, but because I..." she trails off looking downward.

"Because you what? Nyssa, you can talk to me," I plead to her as I pull her chin up.

"I- I care for you, Sara..."

"And?" I push her to say what I can tell she wants to say to me as I move in closer to her.

"And..."

I look deep into her eyes as we kiss once again softly.

She sighs and bites her lip. "Sara...I know not what my feelings for you mean...Feelings are not usually a luxury I'm allowed to have..."

"Well, what do you feel for me?" I ask.

"I feel- I feel that I must always protect you and care for you. I feel that if anyone were to harm you in any way that I would not hesitate to slit their throat," she says a bit seriously, but then she softens a little. She sighs. "I feel that I never want to leave your side. And I feel like I am in a whole new world when I kiss you..."

I smile. "Those are a lot of feelings. I mean besides the 'slitting throats' part, I think I've had similar feelings for you."

"Really?" 

"Mhm. I just didn't realize them until about 5 minutes ago. I'd never thought that I'd..." I trail off as I think about my sexuality.

"...have feelings for a woman," she finishes my sentence.

"Yeah..."

"Feelings are an impossible truth that one, even as mentally trained as myself, cannot control. I've just realized..." She contemplates. "Romantic partnerships can be established between two souls no matter the bodies they reside in," she states in revelation, mostly to herself. 

I smile at how cute this moment is. It's a deadly assassin learning about feelings..."Yes, Nyssa. People are allowed to be gay. Well, most of the time. It's still a tough thing for some people to wrap their heads around."

"Well, the homosexual part of this situation is not the thing I'm unfamiliar with," she starts. "I've never had feelings for anyone or a romantic partnership. Those are not things I've been allowed to have. I'm not supposed to have feelings for anyone, Sara, and that's what's confusing to me, because I do. I do have feelings. I have them for you." 

"Is this your way of asking me to be your 'partner'?" I say using air quotes, which confuses her momentarily, but she figures it out.

She smiles and takes my hand. "If you desire me in the same way, I'd be honored..."

Her words, especially with her enchanting accent, have me melting where I stand. All I can really say at this point is "I do..."

She strokes my hair. "Then so shall it be...Belovèd..." she says. She smiles now more than I've ever seen her. So much so where she actually displays her gorgeous white teeth for a moment. 

I smile and chuckle lightly. "Well, where I'm from you'd be called my girlfriend."

She frowns slightly. "The term 'girlfriend' doesn't display my feelings for you properly, in my eyes. It sounds like you are just a friend that is a girl."

"Yeah, I suppose..." I say as my thoughts trail off into a realization. "So, um, I suppose our deal... is um..."

"I will honor it," she says blankly.

I chuckle nervously.

She senses my uneasiness and then I think realizes why. She stiffens her back. "I will honor you, Sara Lance. Nothing shall happen between us in any way unless it is of a mutual desire. Our deal remains the same. I will slumber at your side and nothing more."

I sigh in relief. I know that just a minute ago I wanted to go further with her in the heat of the moment, but now that I'm back in my head I've become nervous. The more I think about it, the more I feel scared. I mean, I know how to have sex with a boy, but with a girl? I don't actually know anything about that. It's a whole new world that I've never even thought about visiting. What is it all like? Is it better? What even happens? There is so much I don't know...

Nyssa smiles at my worried expressions. "You ponder."

"Yeah..."

"I am not a man, Sara, and that confuses you. I understand. That is another reason why I insist we slow down now. There are some things that we both need to figure out. Together."

"Yeah. Like, how do women..." I trail off as I scan her entire body from bottom to top.

She smiles and even blushes a little. "There is not just one way to make love, just as there is not one way to kill a man. We shall cross that bridge when we come to it, and I assure you that you need not ponder it. I will take care of you as I always have." She takes my chin in her hand and gazes into my eyes. "I will care for you always until my demise."

I think about what she has told me. She's going to 'take care' of me when we finally decide to 'cross that bridge' together. How is this woman so pure at heart when she lives and serves in a place like this? Here I am, falling for her. A woman that has killed hundreds of men but yet cares for me so much.

I smirk a tiny bit then smile warmly at her. "Well, you are a great teacher," I say as I start to feel more at ease.

She chuckles. "And you are a quick one to learn.

I smile. "Thank you."

"It is true. You excel beyond what many of our men here have in the time that you've been trained."

"No, not about that. Thank you for always caring for me. For rescuing me."

She takes my hand in hers. "I will always, Belovèd."