Rescued: A Nyssara Story

Chapter 12

NYSSA: I feel her eyes on me, watching me. I dare not open my eyes to gaze upon her for I fear that she will be engulfed in a fiery lust once again. As much as I wish to indulge and give into my own lust towards her, I cannot.

I'm terrified. I'm scared that she is truly in my heart. Even worse, that I let her into my heart. I am afraid of what my father would do if he discovered that I was in love, if that truly is what this feeling is. And with a woman no doubt, he would surely kill her and make me watch as punishment. Love is weakness and he will surely destroy anyone who has my heart.

Oh Sara...She is in my heart. She has infected my heart with a disease that has no cure. A disease that not even the Lazarus Pit can remedy. I can't believe I let her in. First I bring her here to this soulless place and now I've let her in my heart. Either one could get her killed and both are my doing.

I need to stop this before she lets me into her heart. It will be safer for her. I do not believe she has taken me into her heart. She is still so confused about all of this so I shall end it tomorrow and everything will be alright...

My thoughts are interrupted.

"Nyssa," she whispers from within the darkness.

"Yes, Yellow Bird?" I say without opening my eyes.

"Can I...Can we...um...Can I just..." she stutters as she moves in closer to me and lays her head on my shoulder.

I open my eyes and take her into my arms instinctively. She snuggles in close to my neck and wraps her arm around my abdomen.

"I'm sorry," she says looking up at me. "I just...I've just really missed this. Cuddling. It's been so long..."

My heart races as I kiss her once on the forehead. "You don't need to apologize," I murmur as I stroke her hair. "Just rest."

She kisses my neck once and snuggles in again. She is motionless as I continue to stroke her hair.

She is so beautiful, so peaceful. I can feel her steady heartbeat against my side and her warm breath brushing against my chest.

This feels right, somehow. Having her next to me. But she only wanted this for the human contact. Is that why she kisses me and tries to undress me? Does she miss the physical contact and connection? Am I just a convenience to her? Is there even a slight chance that she loves me? How could she? I'm a monster.

I watch her breathe softly next to me. I wonder what she dreams of? Starling City, perhaps? Her family?

There were a few times in the past weeks where she had awoken with a start in the middle of the night. She claimed that they were just nightmares but I believe she actually dreams of the terrors from her experiences on Lian Yu. She had told me vague stories of what happened on the island, but the look in her eyes upon thinking of it were that of pure terror.

I can't help but think that her membership to the League will be more terrible for her. What she has to endure I'm afraid will be worse than what she experienced on the island. And she will have to go through the cleansing rituals.

NO! I cannot and will not let her lose herself to the brain washing! I mustn't let her forget who she is. She is Sara Lance. She mustn't become Ta-er al-Sahfer, not truly.

Perhaps I could get my father to let me perform the rituals myself so I could fake them. No, he would surely find out my intentions. We have concoctions here that could maybe protect her mind from the rituals influence.

I shall explore the options tomorrow, but now I shall rest.

Upon closing my eyes, Sara repositions her arm so that her hand is laying on my pelvic area. I am suspicious now that she is awake still, but she doesn't move anymore and her heart is steady so I conclude that she is asleep. I move her arm back to its previous position and close my eyes once more. I finally drift to sleep.

Sometime in the middle of the night, I am awakened by Sara jolting up from the bed and a small scream. She breathes unevenly as she stares into the darkness.

I sit up and embrace her as she realizes where she is.

"You are safe, Sara. I am here," I assure her.

Her erratic breathing steadies a bit as she lays back into my arms and I stroke her hair. She then turns to me with tears in her eyes.

I stroke her cheek. "Oh, what is wrong, Sara? Are you alright? What did you dream of?"

Instead of answering, she just takes my face and kisses me with such passion that I forget for a moment that I probably shouldn't be kissing her. I pull away and look at her.

"Sara?"

She wipes the tear from her cheek. "I dreamt that you were killed..." she says sadly with her voice cracking.

I pull her into my arms. "Oh Sara, it is okay, my little bird. I am here."

"It just seemed so real..." she mumbles into my shoulder.

I push her from me and gaze into her eyes and I am lured to her. I kiss her once. "This is reality, Sara."

She smiles. "Thanks for the reminder."

I caress her face and smile back. "It was no problem," I say stroking her face softly.

She pulls back and stares at me. "How are you so....perfect?"

I am taken aback by her words and I scoff slightly at them. "Daughter of the Demon? Perfect? I am far from it."

"Besides that, Nyssa. In spite of your upbringing, I can see that you have kindness in your heart. You are perfect to me."

Her words reverberate through my whole soul. "Sara, you are the best thing to have ever happened to me in my life thus far. I've never had a friendship such as ours and I've never been happier."

"Friendship?" She asks slightly offended.

"Well, you are my friend, yes?"

"I was thinking that we were maybe more than friends..."

I think about the consequences of my actions and what would happen to us if I let this go further. She would be killed...My heart aches just thinking about it but with the way that she looks at me, I can't resist her. I'm plagued by the disease.

She breaks the silence. "I may have never felt this way for a woman before, but you have really made me happier, too. Without you, I would be dead. And without you now, I'd feel dead inside."

Her words have me paralyzed. Sara occupies my heart and I fear that she will never leave it. She is within me, a festering incurable disease. I can't think clearly, nor can I focus. I'm infected.

Instead of gazing at me with lustful eyes like before, she gazes into my soul with the love in her heart. My heart is hers and I am no longer driving my body. I don't think I can fight my heart much longer...

"I love you, Sara," I say without thinking.

My heart races as I realize what I've just said. I should not have said that! Why did I say that?

Sara's expression changes from loving to surprised and then she leans in to kiss me long on the lips.

"I love you, too..."

Her expression soon reflects what I'm feeling as well. As much as my mind says to stop, the disease has me captive now. I want Sara. Her mind, her soul and her body.

She wraps her arms around me and kisses me a little harder than before. I take her face in my hands as she slides her soft fingertips up my shirt.

This is when I finally give in to my heart. No more fighting. I am Sara's and she is mine...