Wow. Gilbert had finally made it to Hawaii. Before you ask, Gilbert did in fact take over my job on the plane ride. When Gilbert had to run 7 miles out of the jungle were the plane crashed, he saw an island. This island was special because it had Hawaiian dancers. Not regular ones, but nude ones. Gilbert was once again traumatized. He walked with confidence over to the island, where he was very welcomed. Before directing him over to his resort, they had a friendly chat.
"Well hello mate." One Hawaiian dancer said with an Australian accent.
"Oh well hello. Aren't you looking fine this evening." Gilbert replied.
"Um, okay. Do you need help finding anything?"
"I was going to find my resort, but I wouldn't mind staying for a little while and watching these dances."
"I'm good, thank you. Here is a map of all the resorts close to this island. I hope this helps and never come back here again perve."
Gilbert walked away in disappointment. He felt like giving up, or even returning to his girlfriend and his kids. However, Gilbert knew that this was the best decision of his life. His kids were little turds anyways. When he opened up the map the lady gave to him, he had a realization. GILBERT COULDN'T READ. What was he going to do now. After thinking for a total of 4.32786903497864138 seconds, he had a genius idea.
"Google translate! I can type it onto to my I phone 2 and it will read it to me." Gilbert shouted, feeling like a girl boss.
Gilbert had extremely chubby fingers, so he had to type with his long tongue. He also had amazing hearing, so he had no problem following the directions given to him. As Gilbert made the first left, he was out of breath. He is out of shape, so who's surprised? After 3 hours, he finally made it to his resort.
"HOLA!" Gilbert shouted.
"Um, hello?" The front desk lady replied.
"I have a room booked here."
"Um, no you do not. We would never book a person like you here. Ugly rat."
"Where is the Hawaiian suit then?"
"It's on the other side of Hawaii you dumb shart!"
"WHAT!?!?!? How the hell am I supposed to get there. I could barely walk here and it was only supposed to be a 5 minute walk. It took me 3 hours."
"Well, you could rent a Lamborghini. It's only 10 million dollars and will get you there in 2.6783421967 hours."
"I can't drive. Is there someone who could drive me?"
"I guess I can, I have nothing better to do with my life. Lets go."
The front desk lady and Gilbert hopped in the sweet ride and headed to the Hawaiian suit. It turns out, the front desk lady's name is Maggie. She loves to go horse back riding, she killed her husband, and hospitalized her son. Gilbert was not ready to here that. I will not go into details, but they took a pit stop and had a special moment with each other. They hoped back onto the rode, and continued the trip. When Maggie and Gilbert finally arrived, Maggie didn't want to say goodbye.
"Please Gilbert, I can't leave. I think....I think I love you." Maggie announced.
"Oh Maggie, why would I make you leave. You've done so much for me, and I would love for this to continue." Gilbert replied.
About 7.65496875 seconds later, they got into a heated fight. Maggie did not stay with Gilbert and took the Lamborghini with her.
YOU ARE READING
A Goat's Vacation
AdventureA goat works 7 hours a week and is exhausted. He decides to abandon his family and travel to Hawaii. What troubles will he run into? Will he meet new people?
