Alters

Thirty-One

~Lyric~

Close your eyes.
Deep breaths.
"Everyone, we have an unpleasant announcement for today." Michael sighs, his voice shaky and insecure.
"One of our members isn't amongst us anymore." Christina begins to continue for Michael, who seemed to needed to take a seat so he could calm down. "Roslyn has passed away on the weekend."
Everyone looks at Christina with blank stares. Casper, Damon and I just silently look down and everyone tried processing the information within the solemn aura of the room. Nobody speaks for a good three minutes and they just breathe softly, wiping away stray tears. The thread of silence was cut when Alec suddenly stood up, pushing his chair to the ground and running out of the room. On instinct, I get up and run after him. I find him around the corner, holding his head in his hands, shaking his head rapidly, silently muttering "no... no."
"Alec," I whisper, kneeling next to where he rocks. "We all feel sad. It's okay to cry in front of people."
Alec took his hands off his face, looking at me with swollen, puffy eyes. Tears stain his face, giving him the affect of looking like a wet water coloured canvas. His breathing begins to slow as his eye contact doesn't leave mine.
"I refuse to believe it," Alec suddenly whispers. "Roslyn can't be dead. She can't be dead. Everyone last night was whispering for me to join Roslyn but I didn't know what they meant. Now I know and I know they are still evil."
His eye contact breaks mine and his eyes widen into the distance. The tears start falling down his cheeks faster as he covers his ears, rapidly shouting "STOP IT" in attempt to silence the schizophrenic hallucinations attacking him. He suddenly begins clawing at his arms, where I then grab his wrists to try and stop him. He swings and tries to violently resist, though his swings eventually slow down and he just begins sobbing.
"If anyone should kill themselves, it's me." Alec mutters. "She may have mind demons, but I have actual demons that are trying to kill me and everyone else says they're fake. They're not fake. They want me dead!"
"Alec, don't talk like that, please." I beg him, pulling him into a quick embrace. His body is shaking, unable to calm down, as if I could feel all of the demons he sees shaking inside him, fighting to be released. He then loosens himself from my arms, curling himself into fetal position once more.
I hear footsteps approaching, and Christina kneels down to Alec's side, holding a capsule and a glass of water.
"Down this," She tells Alec as he looks up from his knees.
"Just because I take those pills doesn't mean they disappear!" Alec shouts angrily, swatting the pills from Christina's hand. "Bullshit antipsychotics, that's what they are. You guys act like they'll save me, but they won't! Nothing can save me from my own mind."
"Everything okay out there?" Damon suddenly comes running towards us, now getting an eye on the current scene going on.
"I want to be alone for once in my life, but it's impossible with the hellish voices constantly whispering in my ears." Alec mutters under his breath.
"Alec, you can do anything you wish. You just need to empty your mind." I scootch over as Damon kneels in front of Alec, placing his hands gently on Alec's. "Just take deep breaths and things will slowly calm down."
Alec follows Damon's instructions, slowly calming his body. Though Damon remains calm and full of sense, I can only see the fragments of pain within his body. He still holds so much guilt, yet manages to wear a mask for the good of everyone else. Only the people that truly know him can see behind the mask and know what is constantly running through his damaged mind. He's an angel with tainted wings, disguising himself in everyone's eyes. Only the tainted wings are transparent to spectators, and the wings are only of a pure white when folded as he helps those in need. Only few know what he is with his wings open, and he doesn't realize they're beautiful no matter what.

"I want Cecilia right now..." Alec suddenly manages to whisper. I release him from my delicate embrace, looking him in his pouffy red eyes. "I need her to support me. I miss her... I..." Alec trails off.

"She's sound asleep right now. Would you really want to wake her?" I ask him softly. He shakes his head.

"I'll let her sleep, then." He sighs, looking down at our laps. "She's like a different type of voice. Only she controls your body instead. She's real too though, and she wants her own body. The only thing is she's a nice voice. She never tells you to die, or to kill your family in the middle of the night. You don't need your doors locked when you're asleep in an empty room with only a bed and your phone. I'd have Cecilia in my mind any day. Anything over my voices."

I sit in silence. What do you say to someone that has a situation that makes them more worse off than you, even though you constantly tell yourself that you have it the worst, and that nobody feels your pain? You can't do anything. All you can do is sympathize with them and hope that maybe, just maybe, everything will all turn out for the better one day. Maybe one day our suffering will end. One day the world will be a better place.