An Endless Date

Chapter V

It had been almost three weeks since Anna and I walked to class together. Not much has happened since then. I thought after that encounter and the smile she gave (or just so I thought), that things would be different. My initial hope was to be able to start talking with her, to have a relationship between us, to be friends with the girl I like most, and get to know her better.

However, things turned in a different direction. It seems like she has been using that attention-ignorance theory on me lately. The whole first week after my birthday, she gave me these glances and attention that made me feel somewhat different. However, the next week after that, I felt like she lost interest in me. I would see her for the whole day, but I didn't even get a glance from her. She didn't even smile at me. Whenever she avoided me, the fewer the looks she gave, the sadder I felt. Every day for the last seven days has been the same. I felt something changed, and it has to do with her. I no longer cared about what Lucas or Ben said about her and me.

I had wanted to talk to her but I did not. The day before yesterday, I saw a guy walk up to her in the cafeteria and try to talk. I can understand that she did not even care. She didn't even give him the chance to talk with her. I thought I was the only one, but now the guys in Ben's class are also interested. She's the cover girl of the school. She has fans, and almost all the guys are desperate to get close to her.

That explains why I've been grubby for the whole weekend. There are some things that most guys in my high school don't know, but what I do know is that I'm one of the "UNCOOL GUYS." My inner voice already told me that I couldn't get close to her. Some of the guys trying to get close to her are on the football team at school. Compared to them, I don't stand a chance. It's okay, like my mind said I just wanted to get close to her without making her fall for me, and now I can't even get close. No big deal.

As Lucas pushed me sideways, he asked, "Are you having another soul-talk?"

"Yes, I'm still alive. Don't keep pressing me to test my life every time."

Almost 100 times I thought that thought and said it was okay. But after seeing her again, I was flooded with the same negativity and positivity. Lucas and I are sitting in the library. We are looking up information for the economics assignment, which carries marks in the first term exams, since Wednesday.

As I see Anna around, she's also working on her notes without looking away from her book. She doesn't glance at me as she roams around the library. Earlier, I let my optimism lead me to try to talk to her, but she was with her friends. It is either she will be with her friends or she will be studying in the school. I could try to talk to her after school, but her mom would pick her up.

"What do you think of this?" asked Lucas showing me a page in the book entitled "Economics in History".

My response was, "Really?" as I turned the page in his notebook and added, "We have been given an assignment for 20 marks, and you have written more than 30 pages already, but none of them have anything to do with the topic sir gave you."

"I am writing about 'demand function' only in my assignment. What's wrong with this?"

"Let me see what you found now, I will prove that Ben is always right about you," i said

"I wanted to add this one as well. It says forecasting of demand."

"Mr. Carter has not yet completed this topic. He said he'll do so by next week."

"Really??" said Lucas with his eyes wide open

Having sighed and nodded sideways, I returned my attention to my thoughts. There she sat just a few tables away from me nearly lost that feeling having been so lost in her eyes or whatever things I used to feel when I saw her before a week. Now, it's all this discouragement and the truth that I am an uncool guy and that I will never get close to her or even be friends with her.