In his eyes I find peace

Y/N Intro

Y/N POV;
I woke up gripping the bed while cold sweat drips from my head. My heart racing and breathing hitched. I've had this dream for years and woken up the same every time, I don't understand why it still scares me this way but it does. I bring my clammed hands to my face to wipe the sweat from my eyes. As my vision focused I look over to the alarm clock.
3:30AM
The alarm clock read. I knew I wasn't going to be able to fall back asleep so, I decided to get up and get ready. I quietly went over to my desk and turned on the lamp that gave off enough light for me to see my bed and closet along with the neat white desk. I sat at the desk combing through my long black hair. My hair was still tangled from the day before so I reached over to grab the light purple bottle that read an expensive brands detangler. I sprayed a few sprits around my hair feeling the most hit my scalp and some on my face. I let it sit for a second before I went back to brushing my hair. It took me about 10 minutes before it was completely brushed through and laid silky smooth along my face and shoulders just as father had liked it. I didn't really have the energy to style it quite yet so i left my desk and went to my closet. My closet was also neat and white just like everything else in my room. I opened the doors to the closet and started to look through the clothes before me. I didn't know what mood father would be in today but, based off his mood last night it would be safe to say he'd be in a pretty decent mood. I always tried to match my clothes to his mood just in case I need a quick cover up. I didn't want anyone finding out nobody could know and nobody ever would know but, guessing fathers mood would be ok I grabbed a white cameo and a nice light purple cardigan to match along with my loose jeans.

Father actually likes it when I wear outfits like these but it's on a rare occasion I can wear them but lately fathers beatings haven't been to bad and the marks go away with in minutes. I put the outfit on and admire myself in the mirror that sat adjacent from my closet. I grabbed my phone liking the outfit enough to take some pictures. I pose for a few and a few more. I end up taking quite a bit of pictures in the outfit but I knew it was pointless father would make me delete them. I admired them while I could then deleted them slowly. I was upset but I know it was a rule father had set and if I broke it I wouldn't have my phone anymore and be punished horribly. I must have admired to long because I heard fathers door open meaning he'd be in my room any second making sure I was awake. I quickly shoved my phone in my back pocket and went to my bed to sit on the edge. As I had predicted father walked in. He saw that I was already dressed and asked for me to stand up. He wanted to approve my outfit. He always has to.
"Stand up Y/N."
"Yes father."
I stood up keeping my eyes glued to the ground. I felt his eyes scan me up and down before he spoke again.
"You look lovely honey. Now style your hair and put some make up on. Meet me at the table when you're done. Breakfast should be done soon."
"Yes father."
He turned his back to walk out of my room. He took one more look and mouthed the words "I love you." As he shut my door. I let out a breathe and sat back down at my desk. I pulled the tiny mirror towards my face and put on mascara and some eyeshadow. That's all father permitted me to wear. I also was allowed to wear chapstick and lip gloss. Father says it makes my beauty pop out amongst the others. I fixed my hair up to a messy bun letting some of my black locks frame my face. The pieces I wanted to Fran my face I curled a bit. I looked back to the alarm clock
6:45AM
Time for breakfast. I wasn't to hungry but I knew if I told father that I'd get punished so, I stood up walked to my door and opened it. I really didn't want to go to breakfast but again I would get punished. I sighed and left my room. I walked down the hall to the stairs. To my surprise father was standing there, I couldn't figure out if he was coming up or about to yell my name or our butlers. That question was soon answered when he smiled at me and motioned me to come down and join him in the dining room. Again I sighed and walked down the stairs past the framed pictures and certificates plastered on the wall. I reached the end of the stairs and made my way to the dining room. Father had taken his place at the head of the table and I sat in my usual spot, two chairs away from him on the right side. Father and I sat in silence until a door from the kitchen was opened and plates were brought before us.
"Sir ma'am"
Our butler spoke as he gently placed the plates and silverware in front of us. He did it quite speedy and walked off and that's when father began to talk.
F:"Y/N you understand that today you will start studies at a new school. Correct?"
Y/N: "yes father I understand."
F:" You will not have books today they arrive tomorrow. I have already told the teacher and they have said you will share with someone in the class. You will be polite and speak when spoken to, no other time. Understand."
Y/N: "yes father I understand."
F: "you will also join the dance team there you try out today. Make sure you have every shoe and the appropriate clothes. I was also thinking about signing you up to play piano. I will decide that tomorrow. Understand."
Y/N: "yes father."
F:"good. Now make me proud and follow all the rules I have for you."
Y/N: "yes sir."
Fathers voice was sharp but, I understood that he did this because he loves me and wants the best for me. I tried to keep my voice low and submissive. We sit in silence for a little longer until breakfast is brought out. It was eggs and bacon. It was all set before father. I wasn't allowed to get my own food father had to portion it so I could keep my figure. Father placed two pieces of bacon on my plate and a scoop of eggs. He did the same and the rest of the food was sent back. We ate in silence. It didn't take me long to eat. When I was done father was still eating.
Y/N: "may I be excused father to grab my school and dance bags."
F: "yes just be down in 5 minutes. I don't have a driver for you today so, you will be walking to school."
Y/N: "yes father."
I stand up making sure not to spill or bump anything and head up to my room. I reach the threshold of my room and finally breathe. I feel like my breath is restricted around father so when I'm alone I try to get as many deep relaxing breaths in as I can. I go to my second closet that held my dance clothes and shoes along with some awards father let me keep. I rummage through to find a short sleeve leotard and black shorts to match. I also pick up the black Nike bag that held all my shoes and unzipped it placing my clothes in. I looked around the floor of the closet making sure I had everything. I did. I shut the door of the closet and went to leave my room again. Before I left though I grabbed my earbuds off my desk and then left. I went back down the stairs and again saw father standing there this time with the ruler in his hand. I knew it. I was going to get beat. Of course. I glued my eyes to the ground as I descended the stairs. I stopped before reaching father and he spoke up in a harsh tone.
F: " Dont disappoint me or you will receive a punishment. Also no making friends with the vagabonds of this school. Do you hear me."
Y/N: "Yes father."
He glared at me for a moment before he moved out of the way. He walked me to the door and opened it. He bent down and kissed my head before lightly shoving me out the door.
This is it I thought. A new start. A new school. But I have to remember not to get to close to anyone and with that I let out a slight breath and began my walk to school.