I Guess I lost My Job?

Chapter 13: I Could Probably Be A Wingman If I Tried

  It's seven am in the morning and the old man Byron is still sleeping since it's his day off. Unlike me, I still have work. I have work like almost every day. Anyway it's Saturday and I put on my clothes quickly, with my favourite belt. The buckle is to die for. And the quality is legendary. Then I made a ham and cheese sandwich and I probably should've added some butter in to make it taste better.

And now it's time to pick some fashion mags. Apparently I'm the "Emo Fashion Critic Edgar", so I guess whatever I pick will be good enough. I also threw in some alt fashion for the variety. I think she'll like it better, actually.

So I packed that in my bag, plus some money since I think I need more alt mags to show Colette. She might like lolita fashion, who knows.

Since I need more alt mags, time to hit Sam's shop, whooo. Though he's low-key annoying, sheesh.

Sam's shop is pretty close to my place, but I take my motorcycle there since I need it to go to work. So I go into the shop and some Waterparks are playing. Waterparks is a pretty cool band and I go to the magazines section.

Man, Sam's there restocking the magazines. So to avoid being seen I just ignore him and pick out my mags. The mags mostly had pastel goth and gothic lolita in them, things that I could totally see Colette wearing. And scenecore, of course. Vibrant people, vibrant colours. So I made my way out of the magazines section and went to Lindsay, the cashier.

Lindsay's a pretty cool gal and we were kinda friends during school. She's also pretty much a math nerd too but don't tell her that. She doesn't really like being called that and that's precisely why I call her that.

"Hey nerd." I say. "Long time no see." I put the mags on the table.

Lindsay was reading a magazine on her favourite video game. Forgot to mention that she's also a video game nerd too.

She looked up- "Oh hey, Ed." and fist bumped me. "You're buying these, right?"

"Yeah, I am." I replied.

"Are these for someone? Because I know you wouldn't be caught dead wearing this." Lindsay asked. "Of course, nerd."

"For who though. Your girlfriend?" Lindsay implied. "When did you know Colette?" Was the sentence I replied with.

Oh no, I'm dead. I will suffer a thousand teases each and every day and my rep as the cool emo boy will be obliterated. Destroyed. And turned to rubble.

"Oh so you're finally dating someone! Good for you.." Lindsay teased. Oh stars no.

"You got it wrong! I-I don't like her! She's absolutely annoying and loud and crazy and y'know- Not. Cool!" That was a total lie but then I have to protect myself!

"Edgar, your face is red" Ah shit. Time to fess up.

"Well ha ha ha, you got me. I'm not dating her though-" "Oh so you LOVE her! How sweet, little Edgar's finally getting a girlfwenddd.." Lindsaycanbesoannoyinggg.

"Oh so how's your biz with ANNA then?" Yeah then there's Anna. Another video game and math nerd who Lindsay had the hots for. Anyways I shouldn't have said that that loudly.

"WAIT, YOU HAVE THE HOTS FOR MY SISTER?" Sam said. That's exactly the reason why I shouldn't have said it. You're right, Anna is Sam's twin sister.

"I AM SO CALLING HER RIGHT NOW!" Sam punched in Anna's digits and began calling.

"WHY YOU LITTLE!-" Lindsay scrambled out of her seat and lunged at Sam but Sam dodged.

Yeeeeshhh, that's probably my cue to leave- "OH NO YOU DON'T!" Lindsay grabbed me by the collar. "YOU'RE STAYING!" She growled. I forgot that she could go berserk sometimes. Maybe she's actually a brawler but who knows. "Whoah!"

Lindsay, with me by the collar (ouch) chased Sam around the shop. Luckily, there were no customers there at the moment. It's early in the morning anyways. And by how Lindsay is chasing Sam, she looked like she was gonna kill.

"Hey sis?" Sam greeted hurriedly. "-Eep!" SMACK! Lindsay tried to smack Sam with her magazine. "STOP TRYING TO HIT ME, LINDSAY!"

"What is happening?..." Anna, confused asked. "Oh heyy... Anna! Your brother's being annoying." Lindsay squeaked. "He's trying to-"

"Make Lindsay confess to you!" That took all my courage to say. This would possibly kill me. But I guess I had to try.

"EDGAR!!!" Lindsay growled and raised a fist, ready to punch my guts out. "Actually, Lindsay!"

That was Anna. "I... Actually..." "Hm?" Lindsay's ears perked. What was going to happen?

"I-I-I.. like you too.." Anna stuttered. Everyone could tell she was blushing, even on call. Let's go lesbians.

"S-s-sorry for uh... Trying to beat up your brother but.. Can you be my girlfriend?" Lindsay asked sheepishly.

"Yes! And uhh, I don't care about my brother, he's annoying so beat him up whenever!" Anna exclaimed. Now insert "Let's Go Lesbians!" but in bold. "Hey!" Sam complained. Sam was lying on the floor with his fist in the air, from the beatdown Lindsay tried to give him. (He got shoved to the ground by good ol' Lindsay.)

Lindsay hugged me. "Thanks Edgar! You're the bestest friend ever!" Heh... Thanks. Man, I thought I was really gonna die.

"You're cleaning up the shop today, Lindsay. Plus the staff rooms. I'm manning the cashier today" Sam groaned, now upright and rubbing the back of his head.

"Yes sir!" Lindsay was totes pumped up today. Okay fair, she just got a girlfriend. I just smiled, left the cash on the cashier counter, took the magazines I just bought, said goodbye to Lindsay and Sam and finally left to work.

"Oh yeah, I ain't dating Colette, Lindsay!" I decided to clarify. "YEAH RIGHT!"

I checked the time. Oh crap, I'm like half an hour late. There's gonna be a whole lot of work waiting for me.

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A/N: I hope you enjoyed this very chaotic chapter :3