Deception| 𝙴𝚛𝚎𝚗 𝙹𝚊𝚎𝚐𝚎𝚛

The Funeral

Content warnings: Dark content, ED, suicide attempt, lemon, self-harm

It's been 2 weeks since Sasha died and you've barely even moved out of your bed. You had no motivation too, And honestly, it was your comfort spot.

You knew you'd have to leave this room soon because Sasha's funeral was coming up, You were dreading going but you knew you had to.

Her mother had messaged you a few days ago to make sure you were coming.

She wanted you to give a big speech about how much you loved Sasha and how much of a good person she was.

You couldn't bare all the memories this conversation brought to you.

But you agreed in honor of her mother. It seemed like she really wanted you to do this which you didn't understand why.

She could have literally asked anyone else yet she choose you.

You absolutely dreaded having to get up from bed but you had to go shopping because the funeral was only 2 days away.

You didn't want to go but your father convinced you otherwise.

He had been checking up on you the first week you were there, But then after that week was over  he would only come to knock on your door to tell you it's time you go back to school.

Your grades were dropping drastically. You hadn't done any work since you've been home, But you were telling your father you were doing it online.

Which was obviously a lie. You couldn't bare to do anything but stay in bed all day and reminisce.

You shut your eyes and stall. I'll get up in five minutes. You tell yourself as you slowly started drifting into a deep slumber.

A bang sounded on your door making you jump out of bed in fear.

"Y/N you better hurry up and get ready so we can get you some stuff today," Your father said.

You pulled all the energy you had left in you to get out of bed and get ready.

"Okay dad I'm almost ready," you say looking down at your underwear knowing you were nowhere near ready. Plus you still had to take a shower.

You stretch your arms out as you head to the bathroom. Once you walk in you look at your black-painted mirror.

You couldn't stand looking at your reflection right now because all you saw was her.

She stared at you with a soulless face and a sad lifeless expression.

So you painted over the mirror so you wouldn't have to.

You take off your bra and underwear as you turn on your water switching it to the hottest setting it could go to. Just so you could feel something again.

There was something about the way the heat would burn your skin that would feel good.

You didn't understand why you liked that feeling but you did. It brought you comfort.

You stand in the water for 2 minutes just zoning out. You were still tired and the water started to wake you up.

Your senses finally kick in and you grab your soap as you washed your body.

You had to scrub your body every time you showered because if you didn't you wouldn't truly feel clean.

You would feel like you were covered in painful darkness that wouldn't leave unless you scrubbed hard enough until you feel something.

You used to wash your face in the shower but you found out it wasn't really good to do so you started doing it once you got out of the shower.

You rinse all the soap off you and step out of the shower grabbing your towel off the counter.