Shades of Gold and Blue | Finnick Odair

Twenty Four

I don't sleep that night. Maybe it's the look my mother had given me – almost as if she wished she had never laid eyes on me, or it could have been the way I had ignored Marlin's desperate pleads to talk to him as I returned back to the house, or rather it may have had something to do with the overwhelming feeling that I was not wanted. I had always known that she hadn't wanted me, but there was always that glimmer of hope that it hadn't been true. That some terrible mistake had been made. Judging by the look on her face last night, I was the terrible mistake – not that she had given me up.

I wish that I could go back to last night and will myself to go through the front door when I got home rather than investigating the alley-way quarrel. I would have woken up – refreshed and ready for some new adventure with Annie or Finnick or one of the others. I would have spent the morning on the beach, relishing in the heat of the sun and paddling in the surf. But quite frankly, anything would have been better than my current position – resting on the window seat in constant surveillance of my mother. I had been here for five hours already, waiting for her like she had said. I hadn't been able to get her face out of my head and I couldn't believe that I hadn't immediately recognised the resemblance when I met her weeks ago. I guess I thought my mother would be ostracized a little, having come from the Capitol. Not the very centre of the community.

A movement of colour in my peripheral vision guides my eyes back over to the courtyard and I almost freeze up when I see that it is in fact her. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I had been half expecting that she wouldn't turn up at all. I see her look around as she begins walking over to the house and she too freezes when she catches me in the upstairs window. I raise my hand and give her a small wave but all I'm met with in return is a nonchalant nod towards the front door.

I let out a sigh and grab the letter that Grandmother Valentina had sent with me, walking downstairs to the front door. I had sent Barnabas and Dimitri out on errands for the day, promising not to leave the house so thankfully no one would be listening in on a no-doubt awkward conversation. I was sure that they already knew – people that were high up within the family did – but I wasn't sure that I wanted my meeting with my mother reporting straight back to the Capitol.

I make sure to compose my features in the mirror in the foyer before opening the door, but I've no sooner opened the door, before it is pushed open and my mother slides through the narrow space between the wall and the door. She closes it quickly behind her and I watch bewildered as she checks the doorways leading off from the foyer, as if she suspects someone will be hiding behind one of them. She walks into the lounge room and I stand for a few seconds, assuming she is coming back before realising that she wants me to follow her into the room.

I frown at her as I close the door behind me. She's stood in the centre of the room, wearing a sundress, jacket and a pretty hat. She's wearing huge sunglasses – the type that you only really wear if you're trying to cover your face a little, "Are you alright?" I ask.

She takes off her glasses and looks back at me blankly, "Do you have the letter you mentioned?"

I reach into the front pocket of my dungarees and pull out the letter, still scented with Grandmother Valentina's perfume. I walk towards her and place the letter in her outstretched hand.

She looks at it curiously for a moment – somewhere between nostalgia and hurt – before placing the letter into her bag and masking her expression once more, "Thank you." She starts walking towards the door, "I'll be going now."

"But . . . you're not staying?"

"I'm afraid not, I have to pick my children up from school."

My eyes widen, "Your children? I have siblings?"