𝐓𝐎𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 ─ new kids on the block

𝒙𝒙𝒙𝒊𝒊𝒊.

OCTOBER 11, 1990
→ E M I L Y

✦

TWO MONTHS HAD passed since our tragic goodbyes with the guys. Tinnie and I had been busy with schoolwork so our minds were constantly occupied with other things but when we did have some time to ourselves, we would talk to them every chance we'd get. Unfortunately, that wasn't as easy as it may sound.

Though Jordan and I had promised to check up on each other whenever we could, time tended to be our greatest obstacle—when I would try to call him, he wouldn't pick up and vice versa. We missed each other's phone calls a lot. Because of that, I decided to start writing to him.

However, I didn't write him any boring letters that started out with how things had been going and what I did in a day. I wrote him letters about my favorite memories from the summer, describing every minor detail that had for whatever reason stuck with me, or just the things I was thinking about at the moment. They were basically love letters, sometimes resembling diary entries that could've been interpreted as 'pretty cheesy' but I didn't care. I loved writing them for him.

I wrote Jordan a letter every week. I knew he was busy most of the time so I didn't expect to get any responses back. Maybe a phone call every now and then, but nothing more than that.

But he did what I hadn't expected him to do at all. After I sent my first letter, I received one back from him just three days later. To my surprise, it was written in the exact same form as mine. It made my heart flutter:

Dear Love,

I miss seeing your beautiful blue eyes light up every time I walk in a room and lock eyes with you. My lips need your kisses. I wish you were here with me tonight so I could make things right. Fuck. I wish I could slow dance to "I'm in the Mood for Love" with you this very second. You told me how much you loved that song all summer and I finally got the record. Now I'm almost as in love with the song as I am with you.

I get sad when I enter my hotel room after a tiring show at the end of the night and don't see you laying on the bed watching MTV or Arsenio, reading a book or listening to a tape you've made for me. It's so boring to go sleep on my own, wondering what you're up to and wishing you were laying next to me.

Do you remember the time on the bus when you were writing in your notebook and I sat next to you and asked you what you were writing and you showed me the poem you had written? And then I called you 'such a poet' because I really think you are one. Please keep writing and send me some too. Especially if you write about me (I never get tired of hearing of me).

I miss hearing your voice. I'll call you as soon as I can. I love you more than you know.

With love,
Your J.

After that, our letter exchanges became sort of a ritual. I would send him a letter on Sundays and receive one back from him on Wednesdays, sometimes even Tuesdays. They were the only thing that kept my stressful weeks light and warm.

I loved how personal they were and definitely preferred them to the hazy phone calls in which we would quickly say 'hi', ask how the other was and then hang up because we were too busy doing something. As long as I was hearing from Jordan, I was fine.

✦

"Fuck! The plane leaves in three hours and I still haven't finished packing!" Tinnie yelled from her room. I was sitting on her bed, flipping through the recent issue of i-D magazine. I rolled my eyes at her.

This was so typical of her—she would always leave things until the very last moment and then stress her ass off. It was frustrating for her but for me, it was like watching a sitcom in real life.

"How come you didn't pack last night when you told me on the phone that you would?" I asked, furrowing an eyebrow at her. She just mumbled something to herself in response and picked up some clothes that were laying on her floor. "Fine, I'll help you-"

"Emily, you don't have to do everything. I can handle this myself," she declined my help. I wasn't going to insist because when Tinnie said she didn't need my help, she really did not. I shook my head at her and continued reading my magazine.

You might be wondering where the hell we were on our way to. Remember that benefit concert we had been talking about? That was happening tomorrow night in Chile. We had to leave a day earlier, and thus take two days off from school, because the flight there was quite long (10 hours to be exact) and the time zones were a bit different as well.

It was currently 10AM and our plane was scheduled to leave at 1.15PM. The guys had already gotten to Chile the day before so they could rehearse. They promised to have Biscuit pick us up from the airport once we landed as the guys were, according to Joey, 'going to be in deep slumber by the time we would be arriving'. Both Tinnie and I were so stoked to finally see our favorite faces after an almost two months' hiatus. It was really exciting but nerve-racking at the same time.

✦

Our plane took off as scheduled and we had now been flying for six hours. I hated flying more than anything, I was always afraid that something would go wrong and we would crash. I didn't care about the statistics that said flying was the safest way to travel—I was always scared for my life. The fact that I'd be seeing Jordan soon kept me going through it all. He had told me that he also disliked flying and that was really comforting.

Tinnie had been sleeping for the past three hours and I was bored out of my mind. I had brought three of my mixtapes with me but I was just now realizing that I should've brought a few more because I had already listened through them all.

Just then, as I was looking through my bag, I came across my notebook and decided to write another letter for Jordan. This was the first time that we wouldn't be sending letters to each other because we were going to be in Chile until Sunday, so I decided to hand it to him in person once we met up.

✦

We arrived in Santiago, Chile at 1.35AM. I had only taken a brief nap on the flight so I was completely exhausted from the long plane ride, as opposed to Tinnie who had been sleeping almost the entire time.

Once we got to the exit, we noticed a familiar face by the check-in. It was Biscuit.

We hugged him and he helped carry our bags towards the limousine that was waiting for us. On our way to the hotel, I dozed off as Tinnie told Biscuit all about what we'd been up to for the past few months. The hotel was 30 minutes from the airport. All that time, I couldn't help but think about Jordan and how excited I was to see him again. It was about time.