𝐓𝐎𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 ─ new kids on the block

𝒙𝒙𝒙𝒊.

AUGUST 17, 1990
→ E M I L Y

✦

AFTER THE SHOW, around 12AM, we went back to the hotel where the guys were throwing a party to celebrate the last hours of Tinnie's birthday and the first of Donnie's.

"Let's get crazy!" Donnie yelled at the top of his lungs from across the room with a boom box blasting Express Yourself by N.W.A. on his shoulder.

The hotel suite was filled by the New Kids crew. Everyone was dancing to the hip hop song whilst I was trying contain myself from breaking down. I had been arm in arm with Jordan for the past two months, and now, I had to return to Long Island and somehow be without him. Alone. I couldn't even imagine the terror I would have to face back home, not seeing his beautiful face every morning and dozing off in his arms. The next time I would see him would be during Thanksgiving in late November. That was a million years away. At least so it seemed, and I really did not think I could make it.

My gaze was frozen on Jordan as I watched him dance with Danny and Donnie across the room. His eyes would make their way to me every now and then too, and every time we would lock eyes, a brief smile would appear on his face. That was another thing I was going to miss not being able to see every day—his smile.

"I don't think I'm gonna be able to do this," I whimpered under my breath as Jon stood next to me. "Huh?" he asked as he had not been listening.

"I can't leave you guys. This summer has been incredible, and going back home just doesn't feel right," I spoke as I kept looking at Jordan, "I just can't do this."

"Emily, relax. You can and you will. Remember, this is your last year in high school—it's very important you go back home and graduate. And hey, before you know it, it will already be Thanksgiving and we'll see each other again. And we will call you girls every night," Jon tried to make me feel better. I adored his attempt to cheer me up but right now I couldn't bear to take it in, even though I knew everything he said was right.

"Jon, you're so sweet. I love you," I said as I stood up from my seat and gave him a big hug. Jordan noticed us hugging and came over to us.

"What's up?" he asked, grabbing a Coke from the table next to us.

"I'm going to miss you most of all, Jordan," I said to him, hugging him tighter than I ever had before. "Are you okay?" he asked me, confused about the way I was hugging him.

"Yes," I said, wiping a single tear from my eyes. "Baby, you're crying," Jordan said, noticing my tear-filled eyes. "No, no. I'm fine. Really. I'll be fine."

Jordan didn't say anything else and pulled me in for another hug, holding me close as My, My, My by Johnny Gill played softly in the background. Without even realizing, we were slow dancing to the soft music in each other's arms. I never wanted this moment to end. By the way he was holding me, I could tell he didn't either.

✦

The next morning, we all had breakfast together in silence. It may just have been one of the most quiet moments the seven of us had shared all summer.

"Look, I'm just going to go ahead and say it," Donnie stated breaking the silence, "I'm going to miss you girls a lot. This tour will not be the same without you here every single night, hyping us up in the audience and then telling us how great we were after the shows. It'll be really sad to not have you there with us for the remainder of the tour. This has been a great summer for all of us, and we really appreciate you girls having been here with us through it all."