Chasing Astrid Malone

38. COLD SHOULDER

Astrid

Tristan shifted into drive and looked ahead as he drove out of the parking lot. He didn't say anything but I could tell he was hurt. I wanted to say something, anything to make him feel better but there was nothing I could say that would accomplish that. I could have stopped it, I could have pushed him away and said no. I didn't do anything worth excusing myself. I liked it, in the moment I even wanted more.

In those few minutes I spent wrapped around Cameron, I felt like I did before everything went to shit. Before all the drama, before my brother lost his memory, before the kidnapping, the rumors. It felt like I made it back... Back to normal. The thoughts hit me like a puzzle coming together. I was so desperate to go back in time to when things felt normal, that I clung to Cameron to pretend none of that happened.

Now I'm sure Tristan will drop me off at home and never see me again. The thought stung and my chest tightened as tears welled up in my eyes. What is wrong with me? I glanced over at Tristan who's stoic glare hadn't changed. These may be my last moments with him, I should say something.

"I'm sorry." If any words have every felt small and insignificant it was those two.  Tristan didn't respond or even flinch. "Shouldn't we talk about this? I mean, do you want to talk?" He sighed but finally responded. "I just need to think for a few minutes. Can you give me that?" I nodded and stayed quiet for the rest of the ride.

I would have preferred he yell at me. This was torture, sitting here in his car knowing I've hurt him and soaking in the guilt. I saw my house come into view and the tears started falling from my eyes. I hoped he wouldn't notice, I had no right to be the one crying right now. His car came to a stop in my driveway and he turned off the engine and got out.

I had no idea what was happening. "Where are you going?" I opened my door and followed him up to my house. He walked through the door and I followed behind entering the code so the house alarm wouldn't go off. As I finished he was on his way up to my room so I ran after him. Maybe he didn't want to break up with me sitting in the car.

As I walked in the door Tristan looked around, walked over to my packed bags and picked them up. I expected him to dump them out, but instead he walked past me out of my room and down the stairs carrying my bags. I followed after him. "What are you doing?" No response.

I followed him out to the SUV as he put my bags in the back and opened my door. All I could do was look at him in disbelief. "Get in, we have a plane to catch." He gestured to the door again and I did as I was told. Still in denial, I started wondering if he was going to drive me into the woods and murder me in a crime of passion.

"I don't understand. I cheated on you, and you still want to go to Boston with me?" He flinched at my confession of cheating. "Yes." My head was swimming. I had so many questions but my guilt wouldn't let me ask them.

"I assume Cam left that there." He pointed to my neck. "Knowing I would see it. He took advantage of you in your current state to try and break us up. I wish I could say I'm surprised." My current state? Is he really trying to say this is all Cameron's fault? Half of me is relieved and the other half knows I'm not innocent.

"I'm not letting him take you away from me that easily." If I didn't feel so awful I would be mad at being treated like an object to own. I can see the wheels turning in his mind, he is probably coming up with his revenge or some strategic plan. I looked out the window, thinking how I won't ever let that happen again. I don't want to hurt Tristan, he really is a great guy and is so good to me.