지금, 당신이 어디에 있든 (Now, Wherever You Are)

1

Su Hyeok, no! Su Hyeok, please, you stupid fucking moron, don't be a stupid fucking moron right now! Don't do it! is what I want to scream at Su Hyeok when I realize what he wants to do, but amidst all that was going on, gasped words is all I can get out, so what I end up saying is "Su Hyeok– No– Su Hyeok, please–"

Maybe I was being extra optimistic, but I found that being swinging on a firehose out the window 3 stories up with a zombie at your heels trying to bite you has one good aspect to it – it doesn't allow you any time to feel embarrassed. If it did, I wouldn't need any zombie to assure my death, I'd die on my own of embarrassment. If not when I had a bunch of classmates listen to me beg for Su Hyeok to save me, then I'd kill myself a couple of moments later, when that stupid fucking moron did not listen to me and did jump over me; his body a little above mine; going down; his arms now around my chest, his breath on my neck and ear ("What the fuck are you doing?" "Helping you get rid of that zombie, now stay still."); going down; his arms tight around my waist ("Gotcha! She's gone."); his heavy breathing on the side of my stomach ("Stop hugging me. It's weird." "You like it?" "Fuck off.")

Funny how being this close to Su Hyeok is something I dreamed about for so long and now that it happened I just wanted it to be over already. I just couldn't let myself be seen flushed by the rest of the group when they pulled us back into the classroom. The situation was so absurd that we couldn't help but let out a little giggle. By the time we were inside the classroom, I was almost thanking that zombie girl.

Stop. Now. I reprehended myself. Don't go getting silly now, this is not the time for this. And it was true. All this time, ever since Su Hyeok and I met, I had had feelings for him and I had never allowed myself to let this develop inside me, always telling myself that this was nonsense, that there was no chance of anything happening, that I shouldn't think about that, because I'd only end up getting hurt; so of course I'm not gonna change my mind now , when our lives are at stake and we might get killed and turned into a monster at each new minute. Now was not the time.

Everyone was gasping, tired from the fright we've all just had. Eventually someone realizes there's a computer in the room and that we can try to use it to communicate with the world outside the school. That's a great idea, but I just can't manage to gather the energy to get my hopes high, catching my breath is a priority, so is Su Hyeok's, it seems. The both of us don't compose the group of people around the computer, we're a bit apart, still near the window. Su Hyeok looks down to where the zombie girl fell.

I go to his side and look down too. "Thanks. For saving me."

"Are you speaking softly so no one hears you?" He plays.

"Fuck off."

Su Hyeok chuckles, and after a pause, he looked at me, "Of course, man."

He was someone I could never understand. He was sweet and caring, always had been, he had this protective instinct with the people he cared for, a group I was lucky to be a part of. But he didn't always hang out with nice people like him. Back in freshman year he used to hang out with Hee Joon and Gwi Nam and be part of the bully gang. That never prevented him from being friends with me and treating me and Gyeong Su nicely and all, even if we weren't one of the popular kids in our grade.