지금, 당신이 어디에 있든 (Now, Wherever You Are)

f

Cheong San could swear he had heard it coming, a chatter outside on the hallway, a bit louder than the muffled mumbling that had been constant all this time. But he was startled all the same. Suddenly a heavy banging on the door. "Su Hyeok, are you in there?" Gwi Nam's voice.

"Bang louder." Myeong Hwan's voice. A louder banging on the door.

"Su Hyeok!"

"I'm coming, I'm coming, already!" Su Hyeok said, getting up with a startle ("Stay here," he whispered), walking briskly to the door, opening the door. "What do you wan–"

"You're in here with that faggy Ching San, is that true?" Gwi Nam inquired somewhat urgently.

"The fuck does that concern you?" Was Su Hyeok's answer.

"Dude, that kid is no good, why do you hang out with that pussy?" Myeong Hwan said. The boys were barging into the room; they caught Cheong San sitting on the bed. "The fuck is tha–" Su Hyeok pushed them back to the hallway, they stayed at the door.

"Well, in that you're right, the guy's a fucking pussy," said Su Hyeok with a laughter Cheong San could notice was forced. Myeong Hwan and Gwi Nam could not, though, apparently, because they laughed too. "Took a couple sips here and there and got super drunk. He's blacked out, man." Hearing that, Cheong San remembered to try to act and seem drunk, whatever that meant. He put on a tired face and acted a bit like being sat was taking all his energy and "collapsed" onto the bed. "I'm trying to take care of the guy, that's all."

"Dude, fuck him, what are you? His babysitter?" Myeong Hwan said.

"And I guess he's liking your care a bit too much, man, dude's got a fucking boner. I'm telling you, man, this bitch's a fucking fag, just stop hanging around with that pussy. Did he try something funny with you, man?"

"He invaded your parent's room and tried to get funny with you? That's fucked up."

"Let's beat him up now that he's down and doesn't have where to run." Judging by the increase in his voice's volume, Cheong San supposed Gwi Nam was trying to enter the room, and by the decrease back to the normal volume that followed, he imagined Su Hyeok kept guarding the door and didn't let him through.

"Nah, dude, chill. I brought him here, cause someone was occupying my fucking room," he said pointedly. Gwi Nam scoffed. "The dude's blacked out, he's probably dreaming about fucking some girl." Another forced laughter. They talked some more, more or less about the same thing: about how Su Hyeok should stop hanging out with "that fag" or "that pussy," to which Su Hyeok gave evasive answers that basically rearranged in different sentences configurations that "that pussy" was super drunk and that Su Hyeok was taking care of him, "that's my parents' room, after all, I can't leave him alone and have him throw up on the bed or some shit like that," he added in one of the versions, tired of repeating the same thing.

Finally the two boys talked about something different – they were leaving to go to another party and asked if Su Hyeok was coming. Su Hyeok dismissed, pretending to be tired and saying he was going to bed. The boys believed it, not caring to realize that this contradicted the explanation of having to take care of "that fag."

After what felt like an eternity, the two boys were gone. Su Hyeok closed the door and Cheong San heard the sound of the lock. Silence. "Are you up?"

Cheong San was embarrassed to have Su Hyeok know he heard all that, so he didn't answer and pretended to be waking up when his friend gently shook his shoulder.

"Did you hear all that?" Su Hyeok asked, sounding embarrassed.

"All what? Oh yeah... kinda... nah, not really."

"Are you still drunk?"

The effect of the alcohol had long left his body, when he entered the room he was already sober. And any alcohol that was left in my system must've gone away in all those tears, he thought; he knew, of course, that that was not how things worked, but it was funny to imagine that he had cried that much. "Yeah," he said.

Su Hyeok smiled sadly. "It's okay. Go to sleep. You can sleep here. Wait, lemme get you a blanket." He walked to the wardrobe, grabbed a blanket and put it on the bed. "There's a bathroom there," he said pointing to a door, "and the door has a lock on the inside, you can take a shower and lock yourself so no one will bother you. Okay? Now I gotta go check how things are around the house and it's probably already time to end it, anyways." The boy paused. "Is everything okay? All set?" Cheong San nodded and the boy started to walk towards the door.

"Hey." Cheong San wanted to ask him to stay, but he knew that wouldn't be appropriate. He couldn't ask Su Hyeok to stay and lie down with him and sleep with him tight in a hug. He could not. Su Hyeok turned around and raised his eyebrows. "All set."