Maybe I did choose this life,
Maybe I did choose the pain.
Perhaps I'm a masochist,
Perhaps I'm stronger than I believe.
What if from up above I saw my mother's struggle and decided: let me be the answer to her prayers.
What if from higher above He knew I would complicate her life further?
I know we are meant to be, though.
I know because, without even knowing of the past, we repeat the same mistakes of the ones before us.
How can I explain that?
How can I explain that my heart experienced heartbreak before I experienced my first breath?
Sometimes my brain tells me "I've been here before", despite not knowing where I'm at.
Sometimes my dreams tell me they're more real than reality.
So I think, maybe I did choose this life.
I think maybe I did choose this pain.
But I'm just going through the motions,
and they never seem to change.
No matter what life.
No matter what game.
-hanna guzman (2021)
