I apologize to my woman, for being unfaithful to her. The women in my bloodline have been left or treated inadequately. They say fear passes down in genetics, which I can agree with all too well. I ran as far way as possible from those situations but in doing so, left you behind, then both happened to me. I'm sorry my error impacted us both immensely.
I apologize to my woman, for hiding her away from the rest of the world. The woman in my bloodline had to stay home, cook, clean and take care of the children, alone. The men left for work then God knows where they went to after — even though it wasn't all too hard to guess. The men wouldn't come back till late, days or at all. From the moment they recited their vows, "solitude" was inscribed in fine print and their terms of agreement were eternally sealed. I couldn't allow that for myself, if I was alone it would be on terms I agreed with, so, once again I became the man and stayed anywhere but the place I called "home", as the men in my bloodline would.
I apologize to my woman, for not protecting her. The women in my bloodline didn't have anyone to defend them, from outsiders or even their own interior thoughts, making their self confidence shrivel into almost nothing. Ergo, I have struggled with confidence in myself and started treating my woman the way the men in my bloodline would do to their women, harming physically and mentally.
I apologize to my woman, for not realizing how fascinating and radiant she is. The women in my bloodline live in her, hence why she had to go through all of what they had, in her own way.
I apologize to my women, for believing I am alone in this. We all had to become our own man to maintain. Starting now, I will not hide that feminine luminescence I kept away for so long, I will not be afraid to let it shine. Starting now, I break us free from this cycle that has gone on for too long, no more being powerless, silenced, and frightened. Starting now, we become our own woman, and take back our vision from their eyes.
Hanna Guzman (2020)
