I suppose I stopped believing in God the day I bled to death.
In the matter of a few hours, I had lost my mind, my love, my loves and a lot of blood.
I awoke lifeless.
Hopeless.
Less.
But I awoke.
And it wasn't God who woke me up, it wasn't anyone to check on me,
it was me who awoke me.
What a wonderfully twisted thing.
In a way, a blessing but a curse.
I have never had anyone there for me truly and it turned me into power.
I am not afraid to say,
I have the malleable voice of Hermes. Always getting my point across.
Walking into a room it is clear,
I have the beauty of Aphrodite and an even stronger love that can be felt from the furthest distance.
I see demons behind me and angels above,
I have magic in my eyes and ghosts in my heart, such as Hecate.
I have the irresistible lust of Eros and then some of the evil that follows lust, like Hades.
I have it all, just like Zeus, including the vain.
The one thing I have never had?
Someone who was there for me truly.
And it turned me into
God.
-hanna guzman (2021)
