Dear Diary,
How cliché is that?
Who the hell is 'diary,' anyway? Do you really think that he/she gives a shit about your problems?
Probably not, because he/she never responds, do they?
You're wasting your breath.
You don't know pain until you've locked yourself in the bathroom, gagging yourself with a washcloth and burying your face into a towel because you're crying and screaming so loud that other people in the house might hear you.
My sobs seemed to get louder when I thought that maybe I was done crying.
I wasn't.
This had to last an hour at least. Hell, when I'd eaten supper I'd cried in my food. At least it was already salty, and I didn't ruin any flavor.
I feel so fucking helpless all the time.
"Fight for what you want- all is fair in love and war-"
What the hell am I supposed to do? Tell his mom to fuck off? That it's not her concern if I want to be with him?
I'm not that kind of person.
Not to mention what does he know about love? He has a girlfriend that he complains about never seeing and becoming distanced.
Fuck, man. Something's wrong with your logic.
I was supposed to be in Minnesota with my best friend that I haven't seen in 4 months this weekend. But God, my body could not let me go. Hell no, anything fun for me has got to be out of the question.
I've practically been in bed sick for the last three days.
This. Sucks.
Not to mention, that last night my mom and her supposedly fiance fought right outside my fucking door.
At least take it outside, I don't want to listen to you bitch at one another.
They never fight- So what the hell is up?
Probably the fact that it's about time things get sour. I think eight years is my mom's longest relationship.
She blames it on the fact that his daughter is a little bitch, (which is true,) but I wonder what the real problem is.
Things just can't go right for me for longer than 5 minutes. When I finally think things are going to be alright, everything just fucking crashes down around me.
I guess it shouldn't be surprising since I should be used to dealing with it by now.
But, I'm not.
The only thing that's keeping me holding on right now is my boyfriend. He's the only thing that even gives me an ounce of hope.
And his mom wants to take him away from me.
Well why not? Everything else has fucking been stolen.
Why not take my reason for breathing?
Maybe that'll teach me a lesson.
