People don't expect tragedies to fall upon them, they just do.
Maybe that's why I was surprised to come home from school, to see my mom sitting and waiting for me. She had me sit down, looked me in the eyes, and told me my stepdad was sick. Very sick. And that they weren't sure what was going on. The doctors knew that something was putting pressure on his brain. At first, I suspected cancer, then tumor, both of which have already claimed beloved members of my family. I didn't know what to say, so I preoccupied myself, picking a scab on the back of my hand.
Then she lifted my chin, forcing my eyes to look into hers, and asked me; "Do you know what this means?"
My first reaction, was no. I didn't have any idea. I busied myself, looking around desperately just to avoid what was coming next. Of course, the worst news.
"Of course, it could be nothing. . ." My mother trailed off, and I let her, staring at my silver-painted toenails. "But then again, it could be very serious."
I shrugged. I cared, of course, but what could I do?
Then I looked at her. . .Really, really looked at her. She'd been crying. Her face was stained red from where the tears had been shed.
I was never the 'comforting' type, so I moved away, hoping that she would end the conversation, leaving it where it would fall, leaving it to land at the end of our normal lives as we were about to enter the world where we were surrounded by blinding white hospitals.
I got up, attempting to head to my room, to grieve by myself, like I always did, since no one was ever there to comfort me.
And then I saw the anger in her face, and heard it in her voice. "That's it, then?" I turned back to her, seeing her blazing eyes, and wanting to say something, but having no response. And I'd always thought it was the mother who was supposed to comfort her child.
"What?" I asked, eyes beginning to burn with equal intensity, feeling the pain of when I was left alone on my own as I was leaving her now. "What would you like me to say? I can't change things. I can't change how he is or his condition."
And I shrugged her off, tears stinging behind my eyes.
Wondering what in the world could happen next.
