(So sadly, this chapter will not be quite as informative; poetical; or deep as my usual posts in this story group. Since technically, this is like my diary, I just need to get some stress off my chest.)
What the hell am I supposed to say? You stand there; like I'm an idiot, and you can't even give me a good reason.
Oh God; here come the tears.
Every bad thing that has happened to me in the last four months of my life come pouring out like a waterfall from my eyes.
You still only stand there; like you're afraid if you touch me, I'll shatter into a million pieces. It's too late. I'm already broken.
In the last two days, I've found out how awfully depressed two of my best friends are.
First; there is Jenny, who text me practically in the middle of the night, telling me that she's afraid she might be having a heart attack. She describes her 'illness,' and I diagnose it as a panic attack; which is not nearly as shocking, but just as fatal under the right circumstances.
Before I can calm her down, she convinces her mom to drive her to the hospital; just to make sure everything's alright.
I don't hear from her again.
Then, this morning, I found out that my best friend since 4th grade, who lived here until recently when she moved a state and a half away, (which basically broke my heart) is cutting herself. She was always the optimist in our group, and just to think that her wrists are being slitted makes me sick.
Then my boyfriend; my only motivation for actually going out for speech; gets kicked off the speech team.
And, not only haven't I seen my father in a month, I haven't seen my mother in about a week and a half, and just when I think, 'hey, I can take a day off of speech, see my mom, just relax,' I get called in for an 'emergency meeting,' because our cast list had to be rewritten.
So here I am. Practically bawling my eyes out, laying on my floor, and wishing that I could scream without worrying the other people in the house; and wondering, 'Why me?'
