If there was ever a time that I felt refreshed and understood, now is more than likely that time. I stand, in the doorway of my bedroom, peering in, and reviewing the day's events. It had been a long day; but it was also a pleasant day. I wobbled my way over to my bed before plunging down into the swirl of sheets and blankets. I clutched them to myself, more for comfort and stability than warmth.
I stared at the ceiling, remembering the eyes and smile that had comforted me only an hour before. I'd instantly felt comfortable with him. It wasn't a romantic comforting, but a friendly one. I felt like I could spill my heart, instead of holding it all captive. I did begin to splatter secrets here and there, giving back stories and small details, but there was so much more to share.
Where did I begin? What would I include? How would I know what to say? The truth is, I don't think I would. It would be entirely difficult just to find the right words to say, the right way to word my thoughts and images. My mind confused even me, so why should it not confuse someone else? Are there people who understand me better than I understand myself?
I begin to read; as obsessively and in-depth as I can. I just want to escape my world, if only for a short amount of time; into the dream world of Ever's 'summerland. ' Alyson Noel had written about the most enticing place of all. A place that I would never be able to escape to, other than in my dreams; A place where everything was perfect, and all answers were at your fingertips.
I forget for a minute who I am. I had imagined my name as Ever Bloom, a young psychic immortal, searching for the man who had loved me for the past four hundred years. I was never big on love stories, but this one fascinated me; I suppose because it was something I wanted more than anything and it struck me straight in the chest. I would die to have someone to love and someone to love me.
I know the fragments of young love. I know that it doesn't last long, and it doesn't stick, but I would love to have that feeling. I would love to have a boy's arms around me as we watch the stars together; pointing out the constellations and drawing pictures in the sky; Just to have that hand to hold, those arms to catch me before I fall. It would be a wonderful feeling; or at least it is when I dream of it.
It seems I will never find love, and though I am young, and haven't even explored the world to have the chance to find that 'special someone,' I don't know if I'd like to wait. Like happiness, love is graceful, and gentle, coming to adorn your shoulder at the least expected times; like a golden butterfly.
