To The Top Again

My Home

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Y/N's Point of View)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I sighed hoping to gain some composure but I dived too deep in the past. Deep to the point I was laughing sarcastically as tears kept falling from my chin. I tried to wipe it away so I walked to the bathroom hoping to get some space and some time but I felt so tired. I leaned my shoulder to the wooden wall hoping to get some stability as I kept walking. My steps were similar to a zombie but I can't seem to control my body as I want it to. My mind's going nuts because what more do life want from me?!

I just want to be alone, alone and wither like a nobody so why would fate be cruel to me?! Why did I have to meet them? I can't figure out why and it's slowly crumbling the pillars I built to support myself from being crushed to ground.

I'm laughing because I want to fight back these rushing memories and questions but my eyes kept watering whenever a glimpse of the past came to mind. I locked you away unconciously I know and it made me see tomorrow so please...just go back to the dark. I don't want these memories, I don't need them so get out of my head!

I beg you please, don't make me pity what I've become, I don't want to recall the times when I would laugh heartily for no good reason because it hurts when I know I can't feel those again. I'm already a mess, a killer and a goddamn sinner so it just kills me to remember my smile when I was just a kid.

My legs were giving out but it did it's best to carry me close to my destination. I was close but I collapsed, damn it man! I sat down on the ground and leaned my back to the wall, I felt my arms were suffering from the cold so I hugged my knees and let my head down. Everything feels so...cold. Why? This is not the chill I remember liking, now it just felt like it was suffocating my skin. It hurts emotionally but I know. I know I'll get used to this, I should just...bury these memories again.

The rain seems to have calmed down when my ears could hear some of the water drops that fell from the rooftop. I looked at the floor and tried to think of something else other than me. I wasn't alone when they left...this house had always been trying to help me remember. I couldn't think straight anymore but I always wondered if this house was alive. I'm not saying that it could talk or something but I just wanted to feel like it was the reason those illusions suddenly came up. Is it because Akali came? Does it still remember the girl who would usually climb the walls, also the one who broke in through the attic's window? I scoffed as my right arm wiped the tile, it feels like I'm patting it in the head making me feel much more worse when that hollow feeling kept getting bigger inside me. I also felt her standing in front of me but I don't have enough strength to bother anymore.

"Leave," I let out weakly and it was muffled. I don't have time to deal with things anymore, I'm just tired right now, tired of remembering, tired of recovering...I'm just tired of everything at this point.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Akali's Point of View)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N...I...I'm sorry Y/N. Now that I see you like this it made me pinch the picture in my arm tighter when my heart felt like it tightened. I should have been with you when they were gone.

I felt responsible why he decided to act like this. The way his laughter tried to fight off his tears was tearing through my mind. You never recovered the moment they died didn't you? I'm sorry you had to carry all the burden by yourself Y/N. While the four of us had each other to rely on...you were here carrying the burden by yourself.

It made me feel like a failure...it was my duty as a friend to help him but no. I ran away thinking he wouldn't need me. My heart didn't want to leave this man like this so I knelt down beside him and hoped he wouldn't hate me more for what I was about to do. I could only smile as I reached my arms around him and pulled him closer to me. I felt him flinch as soon as my hands met his shoulder but he didn't do anything other than that. I hugged him closer and placed my forehead to his head, I had to kneel down just to do it but I could feel him warming up by the touch. I know it wouldn't help him that much but I only wanted to him to remember...to remember how it feels to be comforted by someone else, to rely on someone else.