Jily oneshots

love, lily evans

by downn-in-flames

In hindsight, Lily really shouldn't have written up a list of all the boys she'd ever fancied and what she liked about each of them.

But in her defence, she had absolutely no reason to believe that any part of that list would ever see anywhere other than the inside of her nightstand drawer. That reasoning, however, completely ignored the existence of a vengeful older sister by the name of Petunia Evans.

In the aftermath of some massive fight between the two girls, Petunia had been looking for a missing tube of mascara in her sister's room and had instead happened upon the list: five names, each followed by a brief sets of bullets about what she liked most about each of them.

And so Petunia had cut the paper into five pieces, looked up the boys' addresses, and sent each of them off in little pink envelopes, signed 'Love, Lily Evans.'

Lily, of course, knew about absolutely none of this until it was entirely too late.

As such, she's completely thrown for a loop when a cryptic text message from Remus pops up on her phone.

Uhh, Lily, you know I'm gay, right?

Um, yes?

Trust me, I've witnessed you and Sirius snogging enough to know that.

"Lily, James is here!" her mum's voice rings out from downstairs.

"Can you send him up?" Lily yells back. "I'm in the middle of something!"

She looks down at her phone right as the new message alert pops up.

Then what's this all about?

Attachment: 1 image

Lily drops her phone as if it's burned her. And then she picks it back up again, staring at the image she just received from one of her closest friends, because no, it can't be.

But alas, it is. Looking right back at Lily is her own loopy handwriting:

Reasons I fancy Remus Lupin:

-Pretty brown eyes

-Smart, but not in an overbearing/know-it-all type of way

-Super informed and passionate about activism in politics

That's… her note. Remus has her note. How the hell did he get her note?

When she finally figures out how to breathe again, she taps out a reply.

Where'd you get that?

It came in the mail today.

Lily instantly scrambles to her nightstand, opening the top drawer and reaching towards the back. And of course, there's nothing back there anymore. The piece of paper is gone.

No, not gone. It has apparently been sent out into the world, which is objectively ten thousand times worse than just being 'gone.'

Holy shit. Holy shit. She's going to murder Petunia for this. They've done all sorts of petty, stupid things to each other over the years - but this... this is a whole new level of cruel.

She mentally ticks through the five boys who would've received one of those slips of paper.

First up was Benjy Fenwick, the sweet, slightly theatre-obsessed boy she had lunch period with in year 7. They'd bonded over a mutual love of Phantom of the Opera and Wicked, and the fact that Benjy's mum always threw a pack of Maltesers into his lunchbox even though he hated them. Luckily for Lily, she didn't share the same aversion.