Jily oneshots

The Onscreen Offscreen Tragedy of James Potter

by writeringoodfaith

"James, come here."

James Potter - tall, dark, handsome and in possession of only one flaw: full knowledge of that fact - strolled on over to Lockhart at his request.

Lockhart was gesturing to a video on his phone.

Snow Patrol blared from the speakers as his face filled the screen.

Oh. Did James neglect to mention that his stunning good looks were in fact a marketable commodity, as he was also an actor, going into the third season of a hit TV show called The Office?

With a 100% fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes, a weekly viewership of 8 million people and a little smirk to the camera that he had practically trademarked, James Potter was doing pretty well fresh out of drama school.

Not that he was bragging or anything.

The whole premise of their show was a mockumentary - a pretend documentary where a crew followed around "ordinary workers" at a paper company, capturing the good, the bad and the ugly. James's character (Jim, funnily enough - a nickname he NEVER went by if he could help it) was a salesman whose rivalry with Dwight Schrute (played by real life best bud and royal pain in the ass Sirius Black) was a defining feature of the show. Their pranks on each other sometimes consumed the whole office, drawing into the affray Toby from HR (played by Remus Lupin - who was fast joining the ranks as Cool People on the Cast) and the temp (played by Peter Pettigrew - whose character and personality both seemed to trail after the rest of the boys. His defining characteristic was perhaps that he Eagerly Wanted To Be Part of the Cool People Group is how Sirius would put it. But honestly, James thought the bloke was alright).

But the show was not a sausage fest. Oh no. Rounding out the ensemble cast was the accounting department, staffed by one Angela Martin - a blonde diminutive woman whose character had always reminded James of those little handbag dogs who barked at everything and judged the world from their vantage point in some rich lady's purse. Angela was played by Marlene McKinnon, who was in person the exact opposite of her acting counterpart by way of being a verifiable ray of sunshine. She was so sweet, and her attempts at hitting on Sirius (much to his buddy's chagrin) left James with endless entertainment. Heading the accounting department was Olivia Martinez, played by Dorcas Meadowes. Openly out, relatively sensible and just a tad judgemental made her great friends with Angela. Her counterpart was similarly sensible and lecturely, though there was a softness to her center that hadn't made its debut in her show's character.

And completing the cast was the one, the only: Lily Evans. She played Pamela Beesley, the shy receptionist.

Oh, what James could say about Lily Evans could fill an encyclopedia.

Gorgeous? Of course.

Witty? Like you wouldn't believe it.

Kind? Almost to a fault.

Perhaps her only flaw was baggage that came in the form of her high school boyfriend, now turned corporate lawyer who was less than supportive of her decision to drop out of law school three years ago and take on the acting job. The guy's name was Lionel Lee. James never could trust a guy with an alliterating name. It'd taken him *this* long to get over Pete's.

And this Lionel character? Ugh! Nevermind her raging success, or check per episode that James was SURE was more than the idiot took home in a year. He was all:

"You're not using your brain, Lily."

"What are you going to do when you're not young and pretty anymore?"

"Education lasts forever, fame lasts but a season."

Those were unfortunately all verbatim quotes from Lily's own mouth (to Marlene - James would never get involved in a couple's relationship drama. Though that's not to say that he wouldn't get… invested.)