Jily oneshots

One Direction on the A4

done by elanev91 on fanfiction.net

Sometimes, James Potter is very, very lucky to be alive.

Like this morning, when, in the hour and a half since he woke up, he managed to irritate Lily so much that she was already threatening him with death when they walked out of their building and onto the street.

He'd scattered all his bloody ties all over the floor while trying to pick one that matched his shirt (again), had gotten crumbs all over the fucking kitchen floor because he can't sit at the table and eat toast like a normal person (again), he'd gotten Nutella on Lily's neck and fucked up her makeup (something that happened far more often than either of them was willing to admit), and he'd FaceTimed Sirius just as they were getting ready to fucking walk out the door, and then he had to go back into their room and dig through all his ties again, because Sirius didn't agree that the dots/stripes combination James had decided on was as chic as he thought it was.

All told, she finally ended up threatening to shave Sirius bald in the middle of the night if he didn't hang up ('We have a key to your fucking flat, and you know I'll do it!') and dragging James out of the flat, collection of ties in hand, so that they could at least get into their fucking car where James could continue fretting about the ties if he so chose.

'No fucking wonder you're always late, James,' she said, as they jogged down the back steps of their building towards the car park. James just laughed, 'I'm never late, Evans.'

'Yeah,' Lily snorted, 'because you have me to drag you out of the flat.' She clicked the car remote, climbed into the driver's side, and put the car in gear as soon as James climbed in and shut the door behind him.

'And,' Lily said, turning in her seat a bit so that she could back out of their space, 'you're hoovering the kitchen when we get home.'

James huffed, and Lily could see him holding up ties against his shirt in the mirror, 'I did it last time!'

'Yeah, you did,' Lily said as she turned onto the high street, 'but you keep fucking dropping toast crumbs all over the kitchen. Of course you have to do it again!'

'Oh, like I'm the only one that makes the flat a mess!'

Lily scoffed, 'What - '

James nodded, 'Yeah, Evans, yeah. You washed your bras yesterday and left them all over the bathroom! You always leave your half drunk mugs of tea around the flat!'

Lily threw one hand up into the air, 'I pick them up! And I put my bras away this morning!'

'Oh, you pick your mugs up, Evans? Because I know that I grabbed a mug out of the lounge this morning and put it in the dishwasher.'

'I must have just forgotten it!'

'But that's the thing, you always forget them. It's like your thing.'

'It is not my thing!'

James' tone softened, and Lily could tell that he was just trying to end their argument so he could hold her hand and tease her like they normally did on their drive to work, 'Evans, really, it is. It's alright, it's just one of the many little quirks that I love about you.'

Lily rolled her eyes, 'Do you, James? Do you love that I leave mugs all over the house? That my bras are draped all over every surface in the bathroom whenever I wash them? Because I sure as shit don't love it when you leave crumbs all over the ground or when I spend all evening picking up your fucking ties.'

'I'm just saying,' James said, reaching up and brushing a piece of hair out of her eyes (she huffed, but she liked it and he knew it), 'that it isn't about that little shit, Evans. I don't mind doing that stuff, it's part of living together. I wouldn't have married you if I couldn't stand picking up your mugs; I'll be doing it for the rest of my life.'