Jily oneshots

Cat in a Fifth Floor Flat

by GhostOfBambi

James Potter woke up in the morning feeling utterly betrayed.

"Not now, Algernon," he said to his cat, who was perched atop his spare pillow, not looking for his attention at all. As he swung his legs out of bed and put his glasses on, he remembered what day it was, and dashed to his window.

Outside on the street, the movers had already arrived and parked up outside the building. Remus was there, of course, helping them load all his worldly possessions into the back of the van. When he and the movers lifted his piano, James scowled and pulled his curtains closed, torn between worry – should Remus really be lifting heavy objects with his condition? – and righteous anger – serves him right, leaving his mates like that!

Righteous anger won out – momentarily. "Algernon, fetch me my phone!"

Algernon swished his ginger tail and stared at James with his large, indifferent eyes.

"Fine, then," he said, returning to his bed and retrieving his phone from the bedside table. He sat on the edge of his mattress and typed out a message to Remus.

Can't believe you're leaving. How could you do this to us? Ultimate betrayal etc.
Also should you be lifting pianos?

It didn't take long before Remus replied.

Don't worry, I was only pretending to lift it, and I'll still come back and visit.

Algernon's tail kept swishing in front of the phone. James knew he was doing it deliberately, but it suited him to be thoroughly miserable at that moment, so he didn't move it out of the way.

But not every day. Only some days. What happens when we forget to pay the WiFi bill and we need to stream high-quality television instantly? Ask the new neighbours for their password?

What you do is this – pay your WiFi bill on time. You've got more than enough money.

I refuse to accept this. And I'm putting my foot down. You can't leave or I'll go on hunger strike, effective immediately.

The new neighbours already have the keys. It's done. The war is over.

"The war is never over," said James aloud, tossing his phone on the bed with a resolute nod. "Right, Algernon. The hunger strike begins now."

Thirty minutes later, James was eating a bacon sandwich in the kitchen when Sirius walked in, hair damp from the shower, and made a beeline for the fridge.

"Morning," said James, through a mouthful of bread.

Sirius grunted in response and disappeared behind the fridge door. He reappeared moments later carrying a carton of milk in one hand and a yogurt in the other, with a slice of ham hanging from his mouth. He tossed his head back, wolfed it down like a dog and licked his lips. "Has he left, then?"

"Yeah," said James sadly. "I watched him go from my window."

"It's all Pete's fault," said Sirius darkly. He joined James at the breakfast bar and slammed the carton of milk down in front of him like a pro-wrestler grappling with an opponent. "What the fuck was he thinking?"

"Moving in with Yoko fucking Ono."

"And her lipstick teeth."

"Condoms falling out of her handbag."

"They were all for show, Peter does not wear Magnum XLs."

"And look at poor old Moony, forced to move away," said James, with a wistful sigh. "When he loves us so much."

"I dunno why he didn't just let you help."

James took another large, comforting bite of his sandwich. "You know Moony," he said thickly. "Too proud. He said he wouldn't take my money when he can earn his own way. I even offered to rent Pete's room as a bachelor pad for Algernon," he swallowed. "But he said that was weird."