Jily oneshots

another place, another time (it was always in our teenage minds)

by Where The Stars End

Lily never really had any complaints about life. Yeah her dad worked often, forcing her mom to make jokes about being a single mother. And her sister kinda sucked, but life was still good. She was a good student and was loved. Looking back, Lily would think about how sad and stressed her mother must of been, but she didn't show it. Her mother's mask was firmly in place. Almost as well as Lily's mask would become.

Lily didn't start to hate her life until high school. That's when it all went shit. When her parents separated, and her grandfather died, and her mom got cancer. All in the span of four months. Her friends where a bright spot in a dark dark time, one friend in particular.

Lily isn't sure when she became friends with him, he just sort of appeared in her friend group. All of a sudden he was there, and they hung out every free period. James appeared almost as suddenly as Lily's feelings for James appeared. He just came into her life, and changed her for the better. They had only been really good friends for a little over four moments before Lily had broken down and told him about her mom. The first person. Lily has stayed silent on the subject for weeks, but something about that band room and him made her break. And James didn't say anything dumb like, it will be okay or I'm sorry. He just listened. And that's all Lily needed. And once that gate was open, it would never shut again. The day Lily opened up the floodgates of emotions, they rushed out and never stopped.

James and Lily talked about everything. From being afraid of being in relationships, why Lily was waiting to have sex, how inadequate their friends sometimes made them feel. They talked on and on for three years. While both were away at college. The only thing they didn't talk about was their feelings. Well, that's not true. Lily tried to talk. Twice in fact. And both times James didn't want to talk about their late nights. The flirting glances over ice cream. The love songs. He was too lost in himself and past emotions to look forward and see. And as hard as Lily tried to be okay with it, she still liked him. She still saw a future with him.

"Lily, babe. He's in love with you!" Marlene would say. After Lily would text her with a what does this even mean?! text.

"Love is a very strong word Mar, but like? I think he likes me. He's just too hung up on past relationships. He's basically told me that. But sometimes, sometimes I think. I think that five years down the road we will run into each other and fall in love. In the same little town on the coast. In a little bar. And fall in love. It will just be in five years."

Five years. That's the mantra Lily repeated to herself every day they hung out the summer. When James invited her to the beach after she begged anyone to go with her. How they spent 6 hours in the water together. How Sirius taught her how to paddle board. When they drove around for hours. Listening to songs about love. Sitting on the beach, the only sounds being their breathing, the fire and the ocean. Calling.

Just wait five years. It will all work out in five years. But one day, Lily wrote a poem. A poem about the life she saw with James. And as soon as the poem was finished, Lily felt free. It was all she could do, she had given her heart twice. Now it was James' turn.

They kept in touch all throughout college. While he was out exploring, she was stuck at home. Sick and depressed, wishing for the next five years to fly ahead. To a time where she could be happy. When she could just get out of bed. When she could stop crying. When she could live again. Possibly even with James. Possibly not. But just passing these next five years to see what could be.

The poem lived long and forgotten in Lily's head. Those five years were hell. At times, Lily didn't even want to exist. All that kept her going was the promise of those next five years, whatever they may bring. And in those five years, Lily struggled, James was at the back of her mind. Boys seemed so insignificant compared to fighting to be alive. They still talked,every once in awhile. They sent memes back and forth almost daily. And Lily thought about what might be held in those upcoming years.