The Break Up: A Samcedes Story

Not Over You- Gavin DeGraw

Chapter Seven:

Sam

Not Over You- Gavin Degraw

Dreams

That's where I have to go

To see your beautiful

Face anymore I stare at a picture of you

And listen to the radio

Sam was jogging when he saw the first billboard, an entire billboard with the most beautiful woman he'd know outside of his mother and well hers. He stopped dead in his tracks when seeing her smiling there almost life like and he was certain if he close his eyes and imagined he could be able to hear her infectious laugh. She had been gone from his life for a year now and the only thing that kept him from running to Los Angeles was the fact that he didn't know how to apologize to her.

He thought of sending texts, letters and emails but nothing felt right, nothing in his life had felt right since she left and the longer he sat on his guilt the harder it got for him to actually say the three little words. I'm so sorry. He knew that wouldn't suffice not after everything he'd learned about his own self and how this was his poor judgment and carelessness that cause him to lose her.

He looked one last time at the billboard before finishing his jog and heading to his packed up apartment, he'd stay there as long as he could before he needed to move because being there without her was taking a toll over him. All the memories they shared there was constantly playing in his mind, like when they first moved in and didn't have any furniture and he told her she could sleep on him or their Wednesday morning breakfast fest. Wednesday was the only day the both had off and they dedicated their mornings to making full fledged feasts every time and sitting in bed catching up on their favorite shows or just being in each others presence.

Sam missed her shampoo and watching her wash her hair. He missed hearing her sing as she did it and seeing how much longer her hair had grown from the previous wash day. He missed her being topless as she did it and him copping a feel every soft often until she would chase after him to make him stop. He knew he should've asked her a million times over to marry him but she never pressured him to do it and he knew he should've encouraged her more to chase the dream she was making come true now because he knew without a doubt she was meant for something so much better than what she settled for.

Hope, hope there's a conversation

We both admit we had it good

But until then it's alienation

I know that much is understood

"Ma?" Sam said into his phone after sitting next to a box of her things.

"Hey sweetie, how are you?"

"How many times did she call you to make sure you were okay after you got sick?" He asked his mother and she couldn't help but be confused at his question.

"Mercedes?"

"Mhm." He answered grabbing the teddy bear he'd won for her years ago at the fair.

"Everyday, sometimes twice a day and she would sing for me."

"That's what I thought." He said getting choked up because he was too afraid to call his mom when she'd gotten really sick and no one could figure out why. Her health was just declining and for a moment it didn't look promising.

"Sam baby why are you asking me this?"

"Just wanted to further confirm how much of an asshole I am." He said hugging the bear. "God I really messed this up."