TEEN SPIRIT

Believe in Yourself - @yiyilovbot

Written by: yiyilovbot

NISHIMURA RIKI - ENHYPEN

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊

You, in my imagination ,are so vivid

Dreams aren't those magnificent things we grew to love. ever since we were kids we wanted to be something right? whether it was an astronaut , a doctor , or a police Officer. We all had a dream, something we aspired to be or someone but when you grow older you realize it comes with expectations, standards , determination and persistence. We all have ambitions, we crave to do good, to do our best, to reach those goals. Sometimes we give ourselves high expectations, we not only force it upon ourselves but make it the absolute priority. neglecting sleep, food ,water just to focus on this priority. We all have expectations , goals , dreams but at what cost?

January, 2021

New year, new opportunities. In a world where everyone is competing against each other, don't we all want to put our best self forward. shouldn't we put out a positive energy for this year? I'm trying but why am i getting tired. i have all these goals and dreams but I'm tired. am i my own enemy? why do i put expectations on myself? to the point that if i don't meet those expectations , i perceive myself as a failure. why? is it from the pressure of the outer environment. or is it from within.

The sky was blue. the shining cascading sunrays seep into the blinds, casting light shadows on my white crème walls. A new day means a fresh start or whatever people say. School, the place we all dread to go to. Another place where expectations and standards are high. I have no choice to go. education is important or you won't get anywhere, another thing people say. good grades are everything, another thing people say. how much standards and expectations are enforced on us? it seeps through my mindset, now what.

fitting into my uniform, i immediately ran out the door when i checked the time. 8:20 , 10 more minutes left till first period. it takes at least 20 minutes from here to school. I didn't mind if i skipped breakfast, I'm never really hungry anyways or am i just tricking myself? rushing down the stairs I took my bike and cycled to school. i arrived to school in 20 minutes , the bell rang. good I'm not that late. i hurriedly rushed into the classroom which was math. my brain hurts when trying to solve these equations but i expect myself to study. i need to ace that end of term test tomorrow.

Add to to do list. another one in my pile of lists. everyday it just keeps adding up , i try and fit as much as i can in a day. who cares if I'm tired? i need to get things done in order to achieve my goals right? will this fulfil my expectations.

I took out my notebook and begin writing every single thing on the board. i felt something run down my nose. blood ,it was running down my nose and dripping on my white notebook.

"sorin, your nose. blood" a classmate pointed out. horrified at the sight.

"I'm fine, it's normal," I replied. This is not the first time. I haven't had the proper rest, meal or break in awhile. things have been hectic and i needed to finish them all.

"you should take a rest. you've been occupying yourself with studies and practice" a friend of mine seora chimed in.

"with exams and auditions coming up? no way. I'm perfectly fine seora, it's normal. I'm used to it" i insisted as she grabbed a new sheet of paper that had her notes on it.

"The teacher erased the board already. i think you might need to write down a few things" the black haired , doll eyed girl muttered as she gave me a sweet smile.