𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐅𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐎𝐑 | jxdn x mgk

fourteen | the fine lines

PROFESSOR | october 4, 2021

TW: self-harm.

HE WENT BACK TO HIS ROOM AND SHUT EVERYTHING OFF. He powered his phone off, after texting Xan, Nessa, and Cooper, that he would be offline for a few hours. He gripped and ripped at his hair shouting words of anger. He knew that this was all bullshit. His anger subsided and he slid down his wall, tears falling from his face.

He screamed as the thoughts returned. He didn't want them back, he was clean. For four years goddammit. He didn't want this to be the reason, but it seemed so appealing. The cool, silver blade dragging across the old scars till its red was very alluring, it was such a sickening feeling.

He got up and made his way to his bathroom, he broke a cheap, plastic one-use razor and carefully extracted the blade. He looked at himself in his mirror, he was horrid.

How would Levi feel? What about Arabella? Your mother would be very disappointed, your father would be in shambles. Do you think they would still love you after this? You're only just a mess up, this is why you cut before and this is why you are doing it now.

Go ahead, drag the small blade, till you see red. And then repeat.

Tears poured down his face as he moved his hand to his wrist. He shakily dragged the blade across the old, almost faded wounds. He applied pressure and move it across, he saw the red peak like the sun after it was done raining. He cried harder as he did it again.

"You fuck up," he sobbed. He reopened the four first lines on his left wrist, the dropped the blade on the counter. He watched as the red liquid poured out into the sink. He hated himself, he broke his promise to Levi.

[ Black Flash ] *this is a jjk reference*

Jaden cried as his body shook, he just failed an important test and now he was afraid of his grade dropping. He was so upset with himself he didn't know what to do.

He had none to talk to, Nessa was at school, Cooper had just moved away. He was alone, alone with the small silver devil.

He looked at the blade and then back at his wrist, it wouldn't hurt. No one would notice, it's not like they cared anyway. He grabbed the blade and dragged it across his arm. Hissing in the pain, he felt satisfied, after the four lines he felt a rush of adrenaline.

He went to his thighs making two lines on each. As he was working on the second one on his left thigh, he heard a knock.

"Jaden?" the voice asked.

"Who is it?" He asked.

"Levi."

"Give me a minute," he said. Levi couldn't quite hear and just walked right in. He was horrid at the sight. Jaden is covered in blood, with the small silver devil on the floor.

"What--please Jade don't tell me..." he said. Jaden looked like a child who dropped their ice cream.

"I-I'm sorry," his voice was faint. Hot tears trailed down his face as Levi crouched next to him.

He wrapped Jaden in a hug, "Look, I have to tell mom and dad, but let's get you cleaned up first okay?" He spoke softly. Yes he was mad but he didn't want to show it, this wasn't the time. Jaden needed him.

"I need him," he sobbed. He dropped to the ground letting the blood get on the floor. He needed his big brother, he missed his best friend.

He grabbed his phone and turned it back on. Quickly getting to Levi's contact, he pressed the facetime button and waited. A couple of rings and Levi picked up.

"Hey Jae," he smiled.

"L-evi, I did something," he shakily spoke.

Levi's face dropped, "what bug?" He had begun to panic, he worried for his little brother constantly. Knowing that anything can trigger Jaden at an instant; he feared the worst. 

Jaden backed up and showed his wrist to his brother.

"Bug..." Levi said. He gulped, he constrained his anger. "Why," he whispered. "Why, why, why?"

"I--I am a fuck up, I can do shit right and the one good thing I had is gone now," he cried.

"We can talk about that later, now listen to what I have to say." Levi softly instructed Jaden to clean himself up. They started with cleaning the cuts and wrapping them up. Then he got rid of the blade and any other plastic razors. He then cleaned up the blood on the bathroom counter and floor. It was tile so the blood came off quickly. Then he changed out of his clothes that were soaked in blood.

He explained to Levi what happened. Levi gave him shit in the nicest way about fucking his professor but he was fine with that. He was more pissed off at Colson than anything else. Eventually, Levi had to go, he was working on a big case and needed to meet with a client; he is a lawyer.

"Bye bug," he smiled.

"Bye Levi," Jaden smiled. He wasn't going to lie, he felt a lot better than before. But the sadness was still eating at him. He lay on his bed staring at the ceiling, he was beginning to feel like he wasn't there. Like he wasn't in his body anymore.

Like he was a fragment viewing everything through the small circular windows. He yelled a fuck, and turned his TV on. He knew what was happening but that was for a different time. He was tried, physically and mentally.

PROFESSOR |