I'm more than just the second wife

34

Tears were shed between mana and I and she ensured both our boots were filled to the brim with veggies. Dad wasn't happy to see me go either. I'll admit I too wished I could cocoon myself in the sanctuary that is my parents arms a little longer but I had to get back to my life and my own little family.

My parents stood embracing each other waving goodbye until I couldn't spot them in the rear view mirror anymore. I really was going to miss them.

We drove the full 8 hours without any pit stops. We got home and I wasn't as tired as I expected to be. I just wanted to shower and get my baby. "Baby I'll take a shower and go get Zanda, who's she with?" I yelled from the bathroom. Our eyes met in the mirror when I pulled off my dress and I saw the look of lust deepen into his eyes. I hadn't realised he'd walked in and was standing by the door. "She's with Amy." His voice now sounded several octaves lower. He took a step in still keeping his gaze on mine in the mirror and I felt muscles in my nether region clench in response.

With each step that brought him closer to me it became harder to breathe. He was now a hair's breath away and I was a nervous mess. I wanted to feel his hands and lips on every part of my body but I was suddenly shy. I broke our stare and tried to escape him but his hands were on either side of the basin caging me in. I looked up in the mirror to protest but found his gaze following the movement of my breasts as I heaved trying to get air circulating through my body again, it fell on the figure of my abdomen and my stomach where the dark line that bisected my stomach that indicated little lives were growing in me was slowly fading. I saw the lust in his eyes being morphed with deep pain and loss.

The pain in my chest became renewed but for my loves loss I didn't let him mourn. I slowly turned to face him and engulfed him in an embrace and he buried his face in my neck. We stood there his uneven breath fanning my neck as he tried but failed to reel in his emotions. Every inch of me aware of his presence and every mark where his body met mine. His arms on my lower back, the indent of his fingertips digging into my waist almost painfully. His chest rising and falling against my exhales and inhales, his Griffey beard scratching against my chin, his groin against my stomach the warmth of his body and in that moment I felt a peace not my parents not my sister could afford me. It may have been momentary but in that moment the bitterness, anger, hurt and questions of why we were undeserving of the joy of birthing our own seed into the world fled me.

"I love you Yanda." That seemed to unhinge thd flood gates as he wept into my shoulder and his hold on me grew even tighter. His cries were gut wrenching, they resembled those of a wounded animal wailing and roaring in agony. I stood there and dutifully rubbed circles on his back. His cries hurt me but today I'll be strong for him. He needs me. They both need me and I wasn't there. I let myself be consumed by my own hurt. Today I'm standing here vowing to myself never to shut them out. This is my family, through the joy, laughter, hurt and fails.

It's going to get hard before it gets easier but I'm here for it all from this day on. "Come baby let's go lie down." I told Yanda taking his hand in mine pulling him out of the bathroom when he'd calmed down. I walked over to the bed and noticed the linen I'd left hadn't been changed, he's had it for over a month, men and their weaponised incompetent. He'll hear an earful from me I hope he knows. I laid on the bed and he tumbled on top of me cocooning me in his arms with his head laid on my breasts and my legs wrapped around his lower back. I brushed his head until he fell off to sleep and I followed soon after him.

We were both startled awake by his alarm. It was now dark out so we must have been sleeping for a while because we got here in the afternoon "Sorry baby, it's a reminder to go see Zanda." He grumbled in a, husky voice laced with sleep. My nipples stood to attention at the sound. He reached out to switch it off and returned to his sleeping position. "I missed you so much, you know that?" His mouth was aligned with my nipple so with each word he spoke he blew air onto it turning me on and my dearest husband was oblivious to this. "This house felt so big and empty without you. I didn't even change the sheets because they smell like you." Hearing him say that made me feel guilty for thinking he hadn't changed it because he's lazy. "I even missed how you take up all the counter space in the bathroom how you'd clean it only to make a mess of it the next time you get ready. I'll even admit I missed you making breakfast for me even though I complained"  he spoke chuckling and a moan escaped my lips. My hand flung up to my lips. So embarrassing! He glanced up at me, a mischievous glint sparkled in his eyes before laying back on my chest ensuring his lips now slightly grazed my nipple.