I'm more than just the second wife

11

I woke up with eyes so swollen I could barely open them but I felt that I was tangled with someone and by the smell of his cologne it was Yanda. His arms were wrapped around my waist and my head was on his chest. It was so comfortable, warm yet unfamiliar. I attempted to get off his chest but he stopped me. "Please lay down. You need to rest. You barely got any sleep." He's right I wept into his chest for most of the night.

"Here take these." He said softly handing me 2 painkillers and a glass of water. I took them and gulped down the water. " Lay down. I'll go make you breakfast." I nodded. I was confused by his behavior. I would have psychoanalysed it any other time but right now I didn't have the mental energy to. "Thank you for staying with me. You didn't have to." I said softly. He opened his mouth to say something but thought better of it. He just nodded and walked over to the door but he quickly turned around. "It's the least I could do. I don't know you that well but from the little I do and the few times I witnessed your interactions with Zanda I could see how much you loved her. What was done was not fair. You deserved to be told well before time about her father. I'm sorry I never said anything." I nodded and then he walked out the room.

I wanted to say his apology came a little too late as the damage was already done and that wouldn't give me back my baby but I had no fight left in me. I wanted to be angry at all of them and just drive back to Ntabenhle, my sanctuary and bury myself in my work and projects and although I had full intentions of doing just that I wouldn't stay angry at them. The hurt I could do nothing about but being angry took nothing from them and more of me.

I must have dozed off because next I knew Yanda was shaking me awake. I woke up and my eyes could open up a lot wider, the swelling hadn't completely gone down and they still stung everytime I blinked but I felt a lot better and my headache was gone. I sat up and accepted the tray Yanda handed to me. There was toast, bacon, fried eggs, sausages chopped fruit in a bowel , yoghurt and orange juice on the side. "Thank you." I whispered before tucking into the scrumptious breakfast.

He sat there watching me. I felt self conscious and unsure of myself. I tried to show that his gaze made me uncomfortable but it didn't waver. Thankfully when I was halfway through my food his phone rang piercing through the heavy silence. He excused himself to answer it and just like before he didn't come back. When I finished my breakfast I took my dishes to the kitchen and took a short shower ,got into a new set of fuzzy pajamas and went back to bed and slept. I didn't care for what the likes of MaMhlongo and great aunt Sinikiwe would say about my sleeping in.

I was woken up from my slumber by soft knock on my bedroom door. "Come in." I said my voice still laced with sleep. Nothile popped her head in and smiled uncertainly at me. I offered a weak one in return. Her siblings whom I'm guessing had grown impatient with standing silently behind her pushed her in an barricaded into the room and they each made themselves comfortable at various parts of the bed after placing the plastics they had on the pedestals and some on the floor.

We all stared at each other for a couple of minutes before Nathi broke the silence. "We're sorry we didn't tell you about Zanda's paternal family. I know you expected more from us, that you trusted us and we let you down." Thembi cleated her throat to speak but Meluleki interjected before she could speak causing her to give him a nasty side eye. "We wanted to but it wasn't our place but I wish I'd told you when I learnt how the elders actually handled it." I looked at each of them and saw the sincerity in each of their eyes. "I'm hurt deeply at how things were handled but the pain of having her taken away from me wouldn't have been any less so I forgive you all." I said softly. Nathi and Nothile were the first to throw themselves at me and then Thembi and Meluleki joined the dog pile.

We broke out in laughter and they each took a spot under the covers and began tugging at the duvet. "Nothile quit hogging the covers!"Nathi grumbled tugging most of it to his side. " I'm not setting up the tv and snacks one!" Thembi said "two!" I said soon after "Three!" Nathi said before I could finish. "Four!" Meluleki and Nothile said at the same and ended up having to settle it with Rock , Paper, Scissors. Nothile was happy to have won. She moved from her corner and cane to sit between Nathi and I as Meluleki connected his laptop to the TV.

The four of us than began arguing over which movie to watch whilst Meluleki took the plastics to the kitchen and got the snacks ready. We eventually settled on A Walk to Remember. At the end of it we were all balling our eyes out but to be fair we were all on varying states of intoxication. We were now arguing about the next movie we'd watch when there came a knock on my door. All arguing ceased at the sound. Everyone's eyes zeroed in on the bottles of booze on the pedestals. The thought going through our heads was we hope that isn't mama behind the door.

"May I come in?" Yanda's voice came on the other side. We all sighed in relief. "Yes you may." I replied. He opened the door and his eyes went around the room before finally resting on me. We stared at each other. I felt as though his gaze pierced my soul and saw into me. I fought hard to maintain the gaze but I was unsuccessful. "I came to check whether you're okay." He said his gaze still on me. "Thank you. I'm okay." I replied. He nodded then closed the door. We heard the main door close and before I knew it four pairs of eyes were looking at me suggestively.

"What?" I asked picking up the remote to pick a movie but Meluleki snatched it out of my hand and they carried on looking at me expectantly. "Put us out of our misery! What just happened and why?" Nathi asked and they all waited patiently for a response. "And we all saw how the pair of you were cozied up when Zanda left. So don't even think of lying!" Nothile said and the other three hummed in agreement making me roll my eyes.

"Well if you nosy pests must know. He was comforting me after yesterday's events, he then stayed the night and made me breakfast this morning." Thembi and Nothile squealed in excitement and their brothers fist bumped. "We told you that the pair you would find your way to each other." Meluleki said smugly wiggling his brows at me. I threw a cushion at him bust he moved out of the way and it hit his idiotic younger brother. He wailed theatrically landing on his knees on the floor before he could make his big landing Nothile picked up the cushion and bashed Thembi with it who began chasing her around and the boys grabbed those closest to them and went after me. I ran to find cover and the day was spent with us annoying each other and fooling around some more.

The next day I woke up before the sun rose as per normal in this homesteading headed to the main kitchen. I decided to cook up a storm. By the time the other wives made their way into the kitchen I was done but was covered in flour and smelt of oil and cinnamon. "Morning ladies. I'm sorry I wasn't there yesterday to help." I said smiling wide at them, I hoped my smile communicated that I didn't want to talk about Saturday's events. Yaliwe opened her muoth but Velile interrupted her. She could read me better than the other two and Yaliwe sometimes didn't know when to quit, not that she meant harm but she needed more emotional intelligence.

"Thank you! I really didn't feel like cooking today, yet I didn't feel like porridge." Velile exclaimed in excitement. "You baked, made pan cakes and waffles along with all these other stuff. If you tell me you didn't use premade mixes I'll hate you." Noma whined in jest. "I guess we're enemies now." I replied and we shared a laughter. "You can go get cleaned up we'll take this the dining room." Yaliwe said washing her hands. "Thank you ladies." I replied walking out.

We were halfway through breakfast and the chatter had died down. The only sound that could be heard was that of the cutlery hitting against the plates when father in law broke the silence. "MaMkhize, ndodana, it's time the pair of you started leading the life of a married couple. You've been married for 5 years now and I let you be hoping you'll find your way to one another but if I let you be there'll be no progress."

"Baba!" Yanda exclaimed in attempted protest but his father gave him a look that clearly said it's not up for discussion. I could clearly see that he was livid. He stood up and left the table. The room was now blanketed with an uncomfortable silence. Baba and his brother couldn't be bothered they picked up their cutlery and got back to their breakfast and everyone followed suit.

I on the other hand sat there calculating how I'd make the move on such short notice . What of my projects, the clinic, my whole life that had to be once again uprooted? I was encompassed in despair more than anything else. This is what my life has been reduced to. Jumping and rearranging my life to suit the needs of others. My feelings and opinions would never matter in my families. I had full knowledge of this but with every surprise they hurled at me I was still astonished.