The Difference Between Spring and Winter

Thanksgiving

For the first few weeks, things seemed somewhat normal but about a week or so before thanksgiving Noah got really sick and had to go to the hospital. I went and visited him as soon as I could. When I got to his room Noah was asleep but his mom was there. She didn't look great, she was clearly stressed out but for good reason.

Once she had noticed that I was there she came over and hugged me. I had asked how he was doing and she just kind of looked at me. I could tell that whatever was going on wasn't good. After a couple of minutes, Noah started to wake up. His mom said she was going to go to the cafeteria and try and get some coffee. I think she was just trying to give us some time to ourselves.

I remember that I was trying so hard not to cry. I wanted to stay strong for him because I knew that if I got upset that would make him upset. But to be honest, he didn't look good. He looked pale and exhausted. I just wish I could fix everything. The way his mom looked at me, I could kind of tell things weren't going to get better. I had decided that I was going to spend as much time with him as I could.

Noah was definitely going to be in the hospital for thanksgiving so I talked to my parents and Noah's and I got the ok from them to spend Thanksgiving with him in the hospital. At that point, he didn't have too much of an appetite. He was getting worse, you could tell just from looking at him it was going to take a lot to get better. I hate to admit it but I knew he was going to...you know. I didn't know when but I knew it was coming. He didn't eat much on thanksgiving, he had some of that hospital Jello and a few bites of chicken but not much else.

We spent most of the day talking. God, I loved his smile so much, and the way his eyes lit up when he was talking about things he found exciting. Like that day how we were talking about theories, we had related to the black goo in the cut scene of Spiderman no way home. I had said that it's probably venom because that's what black goo and marvel makes me think of. He went into this little rant about it being the black space alien mentioned earlier in the movie.

I won't go into too much detail about that, but I liked how even though I knew he wasn't feeling good he was trying to keep up his energy for me. He really was such an amazing person. he had always been so nice to me. From making sure I wasn't stressed or too anxious the night of prom to him now being here having as much energy as he could to make me happy.

At the end of the day when visiting hours were over, I was upset to have to leave, but Noah was clearly getting tired and needed to rest. I asked the nurse if I could at least sit with him until he fell asleep and assured her it wouldn't be too long. After being here multiple times this week or so, she knew I wouldn't be trouble so she agreed and left me with him. I sat with him holding his hand for a while and eventually he fell asleep.

I sat there for a few minutes I needed to get myself together before I left. Now that he was asleep I left myself be upset a little bit. I could feel tears start to roll down my cheeks and it may have turned to slight muffled sobbing for just a little while. I had promised myself to only cry if he was asleep and that's what I did. I wiped my eyes and got myself together. My mom had texted me saying she was here to pick me up so I had to go. I gave Noah a kiss on his cheek, I made sure to be gentle so I wouldn't wake him up, and said a quiet I love you before leaving his room and shutting the door.