ignite ➝ Doctor Who¹

XXXX

"Report Officer John Maynard Jefferson PKD deceased with honours. 43 K two point one."
— Zach, The Satan Pit

Penelope had a hand on Zach's shoulder. She didn't want to do this, but she knows that he can't

"I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. But you can't mourn now. We will grieve for him when the rest of you are back safe. It's still dangerous. I'm sorry, but you have to think about yourselves right now." There was a moment of silence, before Danny spoke up.

"Alright, we're at the final junction, nine point two. And er- if my respects could be on record. He saved our lives." Zach nodded, being as solemn as he can in the situation. He can't be their friend, he has to be their captain.

"Noted. Opening nine point two." There was a shout, neither of them could hear what was going on. Penelope felt panic begin to bubble in her chest, calming slightly when Rose cut above the rest.

"Lower nine point two! Hurry, Penelope!" Zach starts to move around the controls. They hadn't thought about the Ood getting in front of them. Why hadn't they thought of that? Why hadn't Penelope guessed that? The Ood at their door started to get more violent and Penelope watched Zach's eyes flick to the bolt gun. She picked it up and held it up towards the door.

"Zach you focus on getting them out, I won't let them get in." There was more of an argument behind her. Zach trying to communicate and Danny screaming through the comms.

She worried for Rose.

She ached for the Doctor.

She didn't give a shit about herself, she wasn't letting any more of the crew lose each other.

Zach put his hand on her shoulder, a relieved look on his face that made him look years younger. "They did it. The Ood are down. Rose is adamant that they go back to the Doctor." Her heart aches and so do her arms, the bolt gun almost falling from her numb hands. She would've gone down had it not been for the console holding her up. Zach watched her closely, once again unsure of how to deal with her.

It also doesn't help that he's still a little wary of her, she just looked so dead.

"I'm sorry about Jefferson." Zach shook his head.

"There isn't any other way he would've wanted to go. He's a hero, and he will be remembered that way. I'm sorry about your Doctor."

"I'm sorry about Ida." There were too many apologies in the air, it was making her feel sick.

"Thank you for helping Scooti." She looked up at him sharpish, having completely forgotten about the woman. And she missed the way Zach flinched a little, calming her breathing. She can't cry now.

"I completely- I'm going to check on her." She handed the bolt gun over to Zach, using the railings to pull herself over to the younger girl that reminded her so much of Rose. She practically collapsed on the floor, taking Scotti's wrist and checking her pulse. It was stable, but she stayed asleep, probably just giving her body time to heal, or maybe avoiding having to face a potentially traumatising experience. She nearly died, it's probably the shock.

She carefully placed the girl's wrist back into her lap and took her own. Penelope counted slowly as she struggled to find her pulse. She couldn't breathe.

"Doctor, are you there? Doctor, Ida, can you hear me?" Rose was practically shouting into the comms. "Are you there, Doctor?"

"He's gone."

"What do you mean, he's gone?" Penelope was eerily quiet and Zach couldn't bring himself to look over. He can't do anything for her, for Ida and the Doctor, for anyone. The Devil had been right

"He fell into the pit. And I don't know how deep it is. Miles and miles and miles."

"But what do you mean, he fell?"

"I couldn't stop him. He said her name. Penelope." She wished so badly that everything that just hit her would numb out like before and she could get over it. But last time there was one last hope they could get him back. And now? Everything made her feel like she was drowning.

She can't breathe. She can't hear. Everything is muffled. She is so caught inside her own mind that she can't even see.

But she can feel.

And god does it hurt. She can't understand who would program this much hurt into a person.

Zach approached her carefully once again, not sure how she would react. The Doctor gone, Rose unconscious and being taken to the rocket and him asking her to leave. "Penelope he's gone, there is space on the rocket for you and Rose."

"I-"

"I can't just leave you here now Penelope. I can't." She was a little frustrated that he cut her off, tears streaming down her face, and struggling to unblock her throat of the grief threatening to spill out even more.

"No you don't understand Zach. I can still feel him. He's there. I can't leave him here alone. He wouldn't leave me."

"Penelope I need your help getting Scooti on board. I understand, I do, but I need your help." And from his simple request, the quiet ask for help, she was standing again. She took one of Scooti's arms, not looking at Zach when he took the other.

She may never forgive herself for leaving the Doctor, but she wouldn't be able to live with herself if she didn't help them.