ignite ➝ Doctor Who¹

XXXXII

Penelope watched from the jump seat as Rose held tight to the Doctor. She could see her whispering something, and really hoped it wasn't about her. But from the guilt ridden looks that came her way, she knew she wasn't that lucky.

They parted and Rose went into the TARDIS' hallways, claiming she needed a good sleep after everything. Although the blonde girl couldn't help but cast a few more looks towards Penelope, she had been horrible to her when she had been grieving. How could she have known? But she saved her life anyway, getting down in front of Toby and getting rid of him. Rose didn't know why, she had been so so horrible to Penelope and yet the girl helped her anyway. She hasn't even said thank you. Maybe she could make it up to her best friend, maybe.

Penelope looked away from her, away from the Doctor. Staring straight at the console, she couldn't help her own crushing guilt.

It was quiet for a moment, a moment that felt far too long inside her own head. Then he was in front of her.

His hands were soft, and warm, the only chill being the silver wedding ring that they still shared. He was softly caressing her face, watching her concerned as she sat there unblinking.

"Penelope."

"I left you."

"No-"

"Alone on a planet falling into a black hole. How could I do that to you?"

"You had to help those people, Scooti and Zach. They wouldn't have left you behind."

She blinked away angry tears, who was she even angry at? "You wouldn't have left me behind. I should've stayed, if I hadn't gone with Scooti none of this would've happened."

"I still would've gone down." She laughs, unamused and unable to look at him. Despite the warmth coming from his hands, she was cold.

"Not without me you wouldn't."

"I know."

"I'd go straight after you kicking and screaming-"

"I know."

"I would have held onto the outside of that damn lift if given the chance. To hell with needing a spacesuit."

He moved her head slightly, finally getting her to look at him properly. "Penelope, I know." It was the way he said it, she knows, but it felt like a weight had lifted. He knew. She pulled him into her arms, standing from the jump seat, tears soaking the back of her eye.

"It didn't feel real. I didn't feel real, it felt like I was drowning. And what that monster said-" He stepped back from the hug and took her right hand, crossing it over to the left side of his chest. There was a beating under her hand, which she watched closely.

"Can you feel that?" She nods and steps a little closer, at this point she was calming down. He moved her hand to the right side, the same rhythm hit her hand. Her eyes lit up, fascinated, lifting her left hand to place that on the other side, his heart's rhythm felt like a constant drumming. "You are real Penelope Adaams, please trust me on that, there is nothing I've ever been more sure of. I don't even know what I would do if you weren't."

"I don't know what I'd do either." The Doctor stood there, watching her closely, the last time he had seen her she had been unconscious. He had tried to leave her a message, did she get it? Zach had told him about how dead Penelope had looked, and it scared him a little - well, a lot more than a little - he was terrified. Terrified of her dying. Which confused him so badly, she was human, she would decay, and he couldn't bring himself to let go of her. Maybe he should try, even though it would hurt them both, try and get some distance. Take it slowly - he had selfishly considered it before, but it felt like there was more of a reason now.