Disclaimer: Most of the song belongs to the writers of the musical Beetlejuice. A few references and the characters belong to Shannon Messenger.
I thought it would be really funny to do a version of The Whole 'Being Dead' Thing, except it's The Whole 'Being An Elf' Thing.
Kotlc+Beetlejuice
Fitz: Hey Sophie! Begging your pardon. Excuse me! Sorry to barge in. Now let's skip the questions and start on the whole you know, 'being an elf' thing!
You're not doomed! Enjoy the singing. The chandeliers of literally every house in the Lost Cities are swinging. And if I hear your cell phone ringing, I'll ask you a lot of questions. The whole 'being an elf' thing!
Being an elf never gets a person stressed. 'We are practically immortal, we can carpe way more diems, 'cause we'll still get to see 'em!' I can show you how to not bored. So don't be freaked, please come with me. I've been looking for you like eight times a week. Just relax, you'll be fine. Drink your lushberry juice and take a breath.
Keeper Crew(minus Sophie): Welcome to a life with elves!
Fitz: You're-You're gonna be fine. In the Lost Cities. DIE. YOU'RE GONNA DIE! 50% OF THE CHARACTERS DIE!
I'll-I'll be your guide. To the Lost Cities.
Keeper Crew(minus Sophie): Though in full disclosure- 50% of the characters die!
Fitz: Everybody gets on fine here. Like Biana, me, and Keefe here. The grocery store check-out has no line here. Just get a Conjurer. The whole 'being an elf' thing!
You're just going to love the folks here. Yes, I know you're woke, but I don't know what that means. And every time I do a search for you, I've met people who do a ton of coke here. The whole-(laughs)- the whole 'being an elf' thing!
In the Forbidden Cities, nobody is bullet-proof. 'I work out, I eat clean!' Jeez, pass the slumberberry tea. Time to face the brutal truth! 'Cause you're practically on a hit list. Might not live til Chirstmas. Choke to death on rifflepuffs. Hey, that's just statistics. So take a little break here. Not really like a wake here. The scenery is not fake in the Lost Cities. And there are giant flareadon!
Keeper Crew(minus Sophie): Welcome to a life with elves!
Fitz: You're-You're gonna be fine. In the Lost Cities-how you doin'?(Sophie stares confusedly) Pretty good. Ba-be-ba-ba-be-bo-boo-bap-boop!
I'll-I'll be your guide-to the Lost Cities. Seriously though this is a life with-
Keeper Crew(minus Sophie): Elves ain't taboo, though it's hardly something new. Medical professionals don't bill you!
Fitz: If you 'Foster it' during a battle, we'll probably stop everything and take you to the Healing Center
Keeper Crew(minus Sophie): There is destiny and fate. No terrifying wait. Filled with people you love and hate and on a certain date you go into battle!
Fitz: That's thing with life in the Forbidden Cities- no one makes it out alive! Toss that body in the pit. 'Gosh, it's awful, ain't it tragic? Blah blah, rules, elf magic'. When you're dead, no one cares. 'No pilates, no more yoga!' Namaste, you posers
From the Forbidden Cities to the Lost Cities. Life just needs a little conversation! I have mastered the art of tearing people away from the Forbidden Cities.
So, how about we make a start on the whole 'being an elf' thing!
I hope you're ready for a life with elves!
Wow, that took me over an hour to write. Bye.
YOU ARE READING
Book Characters Sing Songs From Musicals
FanfictionHi! I got this idea from KeefesSoHot. It's basically just a bunch of book characters singing songs from musicals. Disclaimer: I don't own most of these songs, I just make a few edits here and there.
