1:1
(Enter the 3 witches.)
WITCH 1: When are we gonna meet again??
WITCH 2: Idk man, when Macbeth comes or something
WITCH 3: Huh ok
(exeunt.)
1:2
(enter Duncan, Malcolm, Donaldbain (who sucks), and Lennox. They're Duncan's Gamer Squad™, as I'll be referring to them from now on. Oh, and a Captain.)
DUNCAN: Hello, my wonderful little meow meow epic gamers. How are we doing?
MALCOLM: Please, never say that ever again-
CAPTAIN: Macdonwald betrayed us, we need to purge him.
DUNCAN: Oh ok sure, we'll purge him
CAPTAIN: Nah dude, Macbeth already did. Banquo helped him.
DUNCAN: Macbeth my beloved! Tell him he's promoted. Those two are truly epic gamers.
(exeunt.)
1:3
(enter Witches.)
WITCH 1: Where have you guys been???
WITCH 2: I made bacon :)
WITCH 3: Where have you been?
WITCH 1: This lady wouldn't give me her food, so I bullied her husband.
(a drum in the background.)
WITCH 3: Oh damn it's Macbeth.
(enter Macbeth and Banquo. They're totally not on a date.)
MACBETH: ... Nice weather today, isn't it?
BANQUO: oh hey look, weird ladies... with beards... yeah. Trans swagger maybe? I have no idea at this point.
WITCH 1: Yo Mac, you're Thane of Glamis on Duncan's Discord server, right?
MACBETH: ... yes???
WITCH 2: You're gonna get promoted (looks at scribbled note on hand) ... Thane of Cawdor or something.
WITCH 3: Oh, and you'll be King of the epic gamers I mean Scotland I mean server admin.
MACBETH: Oh shit really???
BANQUO: Mac I love you but you're so dense I swear to God. Okay, guys. If you're not lying or hackers or whatever, what'll happen to me?
WITCH 3: Your kids will be kings-slash-Discord mods. When they're old enough for Discord ofc.
WITCH 2: You won't be though.
MACBETH: Wait... Macdonwald already has that role. I can't do that??? Explain-
(the witches vanish.)
MACBETH: ...welp.
BANQUO: They're gone? Damn.
MACBETH: Dude. Your kids'll be kings!
BANQUO: You're going to be king!
MACBETH: We're fucking set! (gives him a gay little kiss on the cheek)
(enter Ross and Angus, both of whom are pretty irrelevant but shhh)
ROSS: Yo, Maccy B. We told Duncan about you and now you're promoted.
ANGUS: Congrats I guess, Mr Cawdor!
BANQUO: ... What-
MACBETH: Woah woah woah, waaaait a sec. Cawdor's still on the server though.
YOU ARE READING
mcdeath™
Humori basically made umm a rewrite of macbeth! it's a modern au, everyone has discord, and everyone's gay. (i also have it on ao3!!) this is meant to be lighthearted and funny, as you can see by the cover ^^
