Broken Web

late night blues

Peter Parker

"So, what's been going on?" Loki asked as our legs hung over the ledge, "you disappeared on me, only for me to find out you were in a hospital. " he looked at me with that face he does, one eyebrow quirked and his head slightly tilted, he wanted an honest answer out of me.

I wasn't sure if I wanted to give one to him.

I looked down at the half-eaten burrito, my stomach legitimately full, then looked at the sun setting skyline, again it was adorned with a fiery passion for colours. Cars honked in the distance as well as roaring planes above us.

My thumbnail found its way between my teeth and I began to file it down anxiously.

I took a deep breath, "know when you take a handful of dry sand" I began "but it starts to slip out of your hand as soon as you close it. And no matter how hard you grip your hand it still pours out, and all you can do is watch it?" Loki was quiet.

"Yes, but what does that have to do with anything?" He asked, tilting his head.

"My life just kinda slipped out my hand when I thought I had a good grip of it," I stated. Loki looked at me and paused, he seemed to judge the situation, his eyes scanning me as if he was trying to pry into my mind.

Loki tilted his head at me then turned back towards the skyline,
"You know... That's what I don't get about you humans, you're hard-wired to survive and protect yourselves yet also hardwired to self destruct at a moment's notice. You put so much pressure on yourselves to be perfect and they are so hard on yourselves when you have a personality that it's a wonder how many of you progressed past the savage cave-man phase."

I couldn't reply, just stared vacantly out towards the sun, now sinking behind New Yorks's skyline.

"I should get going," I stated, wanting to end this conversation. "Michaels probably getting worried."

Loki looked at me, his eyes holding that untrusting look he always wore when he knew something was being hidden.

"Come home Peter, we all miss you"

.....

~ A Few Hours Later~

I stared up at the ceiling, my stomach turning guiltily and that stupid voice nagging me.

Purge it, Peter!
Purge it, Peter!
Purge it, Peter!

I know it wouldn't work, not as well at least, it had been hours since I had eaten the burrito. The best bet would be to work it off.

50 push-ups
30 sit-ups
2 hours pacing
1 hour-

SHUT IT!

I curled back into myself on the side and rocked myself backwards and forwards. I tried counting sheep and I tried to make my mind blank.

After a while I gave up, sitting up on my bed I looked at the clock I had on my door. The big hand was on the 3 and then the small hand was on the 2. Quarter past 2 in the morning. I opened my window until the safety latch stopped it. Cool air wooshed in and I breathed out a sigh of relief.

A shadow passed over my door along with the sound of squealing wheels and immediately thought of those about to be woken up for a blood pressure test. I hated them just as much as I hated being woken up in the middle of the night for them.

I opened my door with a click. I looked outside to see the trolley go last a double door in the hallway.

"You okay Peter?" A near jump out of my skin. Behind me sat one of the night health workers. Her face was illuminated by her Kindell.

"Uhh yeah... Can I go to the toilet?"  I asked rocking on the heels of my feet. She stood up, her cardigan falling to just below her waist and her keys around her neck jingled loudly.

As we made our way, Her cardigan made teeth gritted noise as she moved. Her keys jingled jangled in an awful high pitched noise, I could hear the sounds of other boys in their rooms. Their breathing through the door, someone turning in their bed, wade snoring loudly. Someone was sleep talking. The amount of noise I could hear made my skin itch.

When the bathroom door was opened I was blinded by the sudden light that assaulted my eyes.
"Thank you. " I said

I headed to the sink.

I don't know what triggered it. Whether it was catching myself in the mirror, a build-up of what was going on in the day, or the voice that was still nagging at me to relapse.

I broke.

It wasn't a small start. As soon as my ears registered the door shutting, I let out an ugly sob. Tears immediately sprung to my tears.

"We all miss you." Loki's words rang in my head. I missed them too.

Tears poured out of my eyes and my legs collapsed beneath me. I struggled desperately to catch my breath as more and more sobs wracked through me.

I just wanted it to be over. I don't know what I wanted to be over. My eating disorder. My recovery. My life. I just wanted it gone.

"Are you okay?" I gasped and spun around. Blue eyes met mine. Black hair falling in front of his. His tall figure slouched. It was the boy who was with the blue lady that Mr stark decided to have a conversation within the middle of the store.

... Perry...no... Petri no... Percy.

"The fuck you doing here?" I asked my breath suspended mid sob. He gave me a look mixed between disgust and annoyance. His stance straightened that tiniest bit but still slouched. His Long sleeved arms tightened themselves around himself. His eyebrows furrowed as he gave me a once over. He sniffed and replied.

"Trying to take a piss"

.......................

So .. I updated it. And changed my username :)