Ready to hide

Do you think Claire was waiting for me?

I was on the floor, my own arms wrapped around me. I didn't see anything nor did I hear anything that was happening around me. There was no way I could orientate myself in a situation like this, I didn't even know how much time has passed.

There was a lot of smoke, I knew that because I had to cough a lot and I didn't lose my sense to smell. Hands were placed on both of my cheeks as I started to hear a little bit again: „Magnus? Magnus, are you okay? Can you hear me?" While looking around, I realized pain on my head. „You're bleeding," Alec stated, something must have hit me on the head. „Please, say something." he begged me, and that's when I finally started to see more again. He looked at me worried so I said: „I'm okay."

He sighed in relief and as I looked around, I noticed that everyone of us was okay. I saw Joelle, Celine, Elliott and Nilan. He must have made it to us before the explosion and that's when it hit me. „Where's Blake?" I asked and Alec shrugged. He wasn't here, neither was Camille. My heart was racing, scared for them not being okay.

I got up, just like the others while I started to walk. Everywhere were people on the floors. They were okay, well, at least alive. „We gotta split, guys. Look for Blake and yell if you find him." Alexander commanded and I added: „And Camille." Alec didn't know about her yet, but right now was not the time to explain.

It was really heartbreaking to see that many hurt people and the closer you get to the building the less people are still moving, which puts this very uneasy feeling on my chest.

Seeing dead people wasn't something new, but seeing that many dead people definitely isn't something anyone can just process like that. I knew for sure that this will haunt me.

It's frustrating not finding them after walking around for ten minutes already. It makes me wonder, what if they didn't make it out alive? What if they're dead?

„Magnus" I heard someone whisper very, very quietly. It made me look around right where I was, before I heard it again. „Magnus.." And then I saw him, Blake.

He was on the floor, his leg was under a wooden pole. I knelt down and put my hands on his cheeks. I should be relieved to know that he was alive but I wasn't because this didn't look good. No, not at all.

He was breathing very heavily and he was bleeding everywhere. I couldn't stop it! I couldn't stop it. Blake looked at me. „Everything will be fine, breathe, okay?" I said, trying to calm him and myself down, but he was bleeding more than I thought.

"I can't breathe." he said and tears formed in my eyes. I pressed my hands on his wound, which seemed to be in his stomach but it kept bleeding more and more. This shouldn't have happened. "W-Who would have thought that I-I would die in your arms?" he asked with a small smile. It was difficult for him to speak, but I understood what he was saying. I shook my head.

"You won't die, you hear me? Everything will be fine." I said. My voice was full of fear and it trembled. I didn't really believe it. It felt like time was passing me and I couldn't do anything about it. None of this could be true. "I'm right here, okay?" I said. I hurriedly took off my jacket to press it onto the wound.

„It's okay, Magnus. You guys will be fine." he whispered. I knew where this was going, but I didn't want to let that happen. I couldn't let that happen, I need to save him. He needs to be okay. „I'm so glad t-that I had such an a-amazing family l-like you all. I-I just l-love you all s-so much." he said and it made me cry even more. It was the first time I ever heard him say those three words. I didn't want it to be the last time as well.

„You better stop saying goodbye, Blake. You hear me?" I cried out but he didn't seem to care. He smiled a little as he asked: "D-Do you think Claire was waiting for me?" he asked with his last breaths. I saw his eyes and I could see that they became duller. A tear ran down my cheek. It was all just a dream, please just let it all be a dream.

"Claire would want you to fight now!" I said, but his eyes started to close. "Blake, don't close your eyes. Please don't close your eyes." I begged with full pain in my heart. His eyes closed. "Blake!" I shouted loudly and shook him, but he didn't respond. I could feel his soul leaving his body. I put my ear to his chest, but I couldn't hear a heartbeat.

"Please don't go." I whispered. The tears ran down my cheek. "Alec!" I screamed from my soul. He had to be around here somewhere. He had to hear me. "Alec!" I called again until he rushed right to us and saw that Blake was lifeless in my arms. His eyes were fixed on his body.

"No, no.." he whispered and came up to me. He pushed me aside so that he could take Blake in his arms. "Blake, wake up!" he yelled. "Please, keep breathing!" he shouted and started to reanimate him. I winced. Alec started to sob and pulled Blake close. He was like his brother. He was his best friend.

"Blake, come on man, wake up." he sobbed. I put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed lightly. My heart ached painfully. That shouldn't have happened. He didn't deserve that. Blake had grown so dear to me in the past few weeks that his death was now almost unbearable.

"Alec." I said but he didn't look at me, he kept reanimating. "Alec, stop! He is dead." I confirmed to him. He shook his head and started to cry uncontrollably, after he stopped. I wrapped my arms around Alec and pulled him close to me. Blake must have suffered pain, but the worst pain always goes to those who stay alive. In this moment I wished it was me. I wished I was instead of him.

I looked behind me, as I heard sobbing. It was everyone looking at us and Elliott knelt next to Alec. He wrapped his arms around him as he cried with him. „What about Cami?" I asked and Nilan, which was the only one who didn't cry shook his head and I knew what that meant. This is so fucked up, I thought.

Everyone knelt down next to us and mourned the death of the loved ones we loved. It's a pain everyone will experience in his life once but I know for sure that no one should experience that much grief and loss. It's just not right. It's not fair.

From afar I heard sirens and that's when a little bit of relief rushed through my body, because even in this heartbreaking moment, I knew that now everything was over. It was finally over.