Hawks X Fem reader Oneshots

Revenge Part 2

My brain is fuzzy. So fuzzy. What the hell happened? I don't think I've slept this well in a while though.

I start to move when I feel the odd angle I'm at. I pry open my eyes and contain the flinch. I am definitely laying on someone.

I can't remember shit from last night. I know some small details. Yeah...I remember now. The pill.

I can't believe I did that...I swear I'd die for this woman and its frustrating as hell.

A hand pet my hair gaining my attention. She's awake. She hasn't kicked me out yet. She also seemed to have kept her promise of letting me spend the night.

"Little birdy" she kissed the crown of my head

"Hm?"

"You feeling ok?"

"Brain's fuzzy"

"Fuzzy? Do you need anything?"

I hum and shake my head. Thats...skin? I nuzzle lightly snuggling closer. I'm shirtless. Shes just in a bralet... maybe I should accept random drugs more often.

"Comfy?"

She's gonna kick me off any minute now though...I probably look pathetic to top it off. All infront of my idol.

I sniffle before I even realise my eyes had started watering.

"Ah, birdy why the tears?" She spoke so softly at me

"I...I don't really know" I whimper

She hates me, I look pathetic, I'm betraying my mate being like this, fuck there is so much. I don't want to leave but I know I'll have to!

A hand lightly pulled me to meet her gaze. I was ready to question it until her lips met mine. The kiss was everything I ever wanted. Slow and affectionate.

"Drugs still affecting you?" She hummed

I nod as groggily as possible. A bit of a lie but worth it when she sets my head back on her chest and holds me. I could die happy here.

"You'll feel better soon baby, you don't have work right?"

Shit...well not anymore. I shake my head

"You can stay as long as you need"

"Thank you"

"No problem kei" she mumbled

Wait...kei? Did i..shit did I really tell her my name while I was in the 5th fucking dimension. Fuck fuck fuck.

"Bathroom?" I panic getting up

"That way" she pointed and I went.

I panicked hard and once the bile rose to my throat I thankfully made it to the toilet.

Fuck fuck fuck. I look so fucking pathetic! She knows. No one should know! The commission told me to always keep it to myself. I unload the content of my stomach somewhat surprised to see I had appearently eaten at some point last night.

"Shh, Shh it's ok" feather was crouched next to me rubbing my back, "You're ok baby"

No the fuck I'm not! I feel a hot tear trail down to the tip of my nose before many follow it. My arms shook where they held me up from the toilet bowl.

Feather made sure to flush and rub my back. When my arms started trying to give out I was starting to sob. She pulled me into her and just sat with me on the cold bathroom floor. Reassuring words and light hushes paired with a hand to rub my back or through my hair.

"You're stressing yourself sick baby. Tell me what's wrong" she tried

I can't, I don't know, everything feels like it's going lightspeed but someone made it all .25 speed. Too fast to comprehend but too slow that everything is dragging on.

I want MY MATE! I DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE! I subconsciously cling closer to feather both comforted and fearful of my actions. I want to hold her but she's not her! Why does it feel right when it's so fucking wrong!

"Kei, baby, you're hurting me. I need you to take a deep breath"

I suddenly feel the ache in my fingers as I release not realising how hard I dug them into her when I clung. Fuck. I hurt her.

She won't love me...I give and give and... she won't love me and i CAN'T love her.

Yet I sink my head into her lap and sob. Sob until my eyes sting and my hands stop shaking. Sob until I have no tears left and I wakeup tucked into a warm bed.

The scent reminds me of her. Yet it's been so long I'm sure I have forgotten it and just replaced it with that of feathers.

(Plop)