What This Is

Chapter 14

Lacey's POV

I sit on my bay window, Birdy playing softly for noise. Music is the one thing that is with me 24/7.
I've been thinking about my mom and how we have always been close, but after a while, I began to fear being around her. So I stayed away. I was scared that I was a reminder of what had happened.
Recently though, we've been getting closer. We've been spending more time together.
I feel a bit lost right now, I'm like a puppy that ran away, and is debating on going back to her warm, cozy soft house or staying out in the pouring rain that she has grown used to.
I decided on pulling out a piece of paper and doing what I do best: write.
'Mom,
I know I blocked you out. I know you know. But what you may not know is that the reason I did it was because I got scared. I didn't understand why you cried every time I was around you. I thought I was hurting you, so I wanted to keep away to bring a little less hurt to you.
I know you know things, even my disorder. I know you know how much I miss Trixie. You know I'm depressed but I'm getting better.
I miss the way we used to be. I really do. We are a lot alike, you and me. We left each other when we needed each other the most, but we can still do it. We still need each other.
So maybe, just maybe, you and I can go out together? Maybe try harder to hang with each other more often?
It would mean so much to me, getting to be the way we used to be.
I love you so much mum,
Lace"

In my moment of weakness, my music penetrates it by playing "My Little Girl" by Tim McGraw. It used to be me and my dad's song, so naturally I began to cry.
Even though I'm happy he's gone, it hurts knowing I don't have a dad. Knowing I won't have a dad to dance with at my wedding. Someone to take me camping or beat up a boy who broke my heart. And girls wonder why I get jealous when I see them with their dads....

2 weeks later

The music blared from inside the house, loud enough that hardly anyone could probably even understand it. I could though, and I was surprised to even think that the popular kids at my school even knew Green Day.
I laugh as I take everything in: Beth and Sam are borrowing a couple of my party dresses, Beth wears my pink, strapless dress, Sam wearing a black skater dress with red roses covering it, and I'm wearing a mint green, laced strapless dress (all of which are knee length) and we are laughing at the idiocy of the populars that have already decided at jump off the roof.
It doesn't take long for us three to split and I go to the drink table to wait for Luke who said he'd meet me here, that him and his mom had to say goodbye to his sister who is going to college.
I choke on my drink when a shove startles my train of thought.
"What are you doing here, little hipster?" The knowing voice of Ryan burns.
I would have replied but I'm still choking.
"Stop coughing, you're going to throw up. Oh wait, you already do that, don't you? That's why your so skinny," Lexi sneered.
I gritted my teeth, she was wrong; I'm not bulimic.
"Ya, stupid little hipster," Olivia tried to egg everyone to start chanting, but it didn't work. I chuckled at her stupidity. She was the nicest out of all of them, but obviously still mean.
"What was that, Little Hipster? Are you laughing? I want to know what the joke is! Why don't you tell us?" Jordan demanded, grabbing my arms and pinning them behind me, threatening to break them.
A crowd has gathered by now, and everyone could hear my groans of pain.
"Tell me you little slut," Jordan growls in my ear.
"All of you," I grit between clenched teeth.
Jordan's grip around my shoulders was surely going to leave a bruise as he forced me to repeat myself.
"You guys. You're all a pathetic joke and everyone knows it."
I didn't know what happened next, all I know is that my back hurt and there was a crack in the wall behind me.
Next thing I knew, I was being shoved into each and everyone of them, Brandon being the last one to get his hands on me. Every inch of my body was aching, so I lay limp in Brandon's arms. I'm thankful no one noticed him whisper, "I'm so sorry Lacey, for everything," into my ear as he threw me out of the circle of his friends. Brandon is by far the nicest one in the group, which may be because we are second-cousins.
I save myself from falling and walk through the crowd that had gathered around at the sound of Little Hipster.
I don't cry, mostly because of Brandon saving my arse back there, and I live strong for Keylo. He wouldn't want me to cry... Too soon.
I clear my throat and go into the bathroom to freshen up.
'You look okay,' I think to myself as I apply another coat of mascara and concealer. The pain that was throbbing in my body is now only a minor ache. I step out of the restrooms in hope to finally find Luke.
I will myself to walk back into the kitchen and when I make an appearance, the room goes silent.
I figure it's because I just got beat up, but then I follow everyone's gaze, which so happens to be on Luke. Who was faced away from me, but I could see it, he was kissing Brittney. Ryan's Brittney.