Hotline {Soukoku}

{1}

The Earth works in mysterious, yet calculated ways. We as humans have established a fairly foolproof system to understand it a little easier. When you hear of summer, then depending on where you live, you'll probably think of the heat, the blaring sun, and all that comes with it. When you think of winter, it might be cold, you'll think of the holidays, the feeling of snuggling underneath a warm blanket, maybe even snow.

This, however, does not take into consideration those that live in the Southern hemisphere, my apologies.

There are weird in between seasons however, in some places, where the weather is teetering between the absolute of the summer, and the absolute of the fall. Fall in itself is hardly an absolute, as its neither as hot as summer, nor as cold as winter. This is when the weather is cooling down, and you cannot tell whether you should wear a skirt still, or begin layering on clothes. At what point in the year is it acceptable to bring the cardigans back out? It seems to change, depending on how long the shift between seasons takes.

This is where we currently are. Going into October, it is surely fall, but it will only get colder from here. The sweaters are on standby, and the holiday decorations are coming out.

A young man observes this change from the comfort of his living room. Leaves littered the lawn before the glass, yet they will remain unraked by the man for probably the entirety of the fall. He has out in front of him a box, and an appliance on the floor beside it. He sits on the couch before the item, arm hanging off the armrest, the other holding up his smartphone. His hair is a brown mess, as he hasn't combed it. The man just got out of the bath and has completely neglected his hair.

Rumors even have it, he doesn't even condition. He uses a two in one shampoo and conditioner. These rumors are not absolutely proven at the moment, as his hair, albeit messy, is still somehow super soft. Now all he needs is a comb, and he will be unstoppable.

The man wore a slight grin on his face, having been partaking in one of his favorite pastimes.

"Are you stupid?"

What was this pastime? Annoying his dear friend, of course.

The person on the other end of the phone call, the unfortunate victim of the man's annoyances, sighed loudly into the receiver. The frustration in his voice was painfully obvious, as he made absolutely no attempt to hide it. All he got in response was a giggle.

"Me? Stupid? Why would that be? Wouldn't it make me smart to know to call you first for help?" The caller asked, sarcastically, seeing an opportunity arise.

The other man soon realized what he had done.

"Unless.. you think it wasn't a good idea to call you first? Do you doubt your toaster fixing abilities? Aww, Kunikida, you should have said so! I don't think you're stupid, dear friend."

The caller had to remove his ear from the phone partially, to shield his hearing from the yell now emanating from the receiver.

"Dazai! You know that's not what I meant! How could you not know how to work a toaster? It comes with a manual!"

Dazai, looking ever so slightly puzzled, leaned over and pulled out the manual from the box once more, and looked it over. He hummed into the phone as he looked. Really though, he was only pretending to look.

"Hmm.. Yeah, real sorry Kunikida, but I don't see any question in the troubleshoot section resembling "What to do if toaster fails at killing me in bathtub.""

Almost instinctually, the brunette pulled the phone away, bracing for the inevitable scream on the other end yet again.

"You dumbass, why would it say that? That is not its intended purpose! And secondly, why would you call me for that?! Here I was, thinking you couldn't set up a simple toaster, but no, your problem is that the toaster isn't killing you. Are you kidding me?!"