Hotline {Soukoku}

{12}

At what point.. Did I begin to trust that guy?

The cold breeze continued throughout the day, a sharp contrast to the mild temperature of the air. Chuuya had walked back home from the cafe not too long ago, and now sat at the bottom of the staircase that led to his apartment. He sat with his legs apart, holding his phone between them in his hands, staring at the device.

Several things constantly spinning throughout his mind, each taking up a bigger residence, one after the other. His money was gone, his brother was gone, he had rent due so soon, and no job would hire him and give him a paycheck quick enough to pay it. His mind jumped to his previous line of work, which was the only job he'd ever had in his financially pampered life, and it was terrible. Customers were nothing but rude. Not to mention, that job was the reason he was saddled with that cursed Osamu Dazai.

And suddenly, Osamu Dazai took up more of his mind than his finances. He kept going back and forth between these two different topics, each leading back into the other. Once on the topic of the suicidal barista, Chuuya's mind filled with thoughts that made him believe he was truly going insane.

So little time ago, if you'd have asked him his opinion on the barista, he'd have easily said he hated him, wished he'd never met him, hoped his tongue would fall off and he'd never have the ability to annoy anyone ever again, you know, the usual response against Osamu Dazai. There would be no hesitation between words, no second thoughts, no remorse.

But somehow, the redhead found himself wanting to spend more time with that man. How could he ever want that? What could possibly be driving him to the brunet in such a way that he actually felt a tinge of sadness when he left him earlier that day?

The ginger moved his hand into his left hand, and brought his right hand up to his face, so as to lean on it, and sighed deeply. He's spent so long fighting it, but maybe he should ease up, and maybe accept the fact that, hey, Dazai might end up being a really good friend, should he be given the chance.

Because that's what he's been wanting, right? Wanting to see someone, spend a lot of time with them, wondering how they are doing in your absence, loosely memorizing their schedule so as to visit them often.. That's gotta mean that he wants them to be friends.

He still felt weird. Chuuya still felt an odd ball in his chest. He chalked it up to still not being totally accepting of this friendship, and who could blame him. Dazai was annoying to no end, and all he did was insult him.

And feed him. And seem interested in him. And made sure he got home safely that one night..

Removing his hand, the ginger lifted his head, turning on his phone. He was ready, this is it. He was finally going to solidify their friendship.

Opening the phone with a swipe, he scrolled through his phone history, which was embarrassingly empty, save for a few professional calls, until he found the contact he was looking for. Osamu Dazai, the man he had to call while working oh so long ago, and who has hardly left his mind ever since. Would he regret this? Unblocking that suicidal barista? Realistically, Dazai probably had other things to be doing rather than annoying the ginger all day, so he shouldn't have too many regrets with this.. Right?

Hovering over the red unblock button, Chuuya continued debating his choice, knowing full well that he will ultimately unblock him, as it was only a matter of time. If the end result is inevitable, why doesn't he just hurry up?

So he did it, he unblocked him.

Chuuya sighed, closing his eyes a second, until his phone started vibrating rapidly.

Thinking he had received a call, he opened his eyes again, now facing one last notification, and immediately he felt his heart drop.

D: I love you..