i would wait (forever and ever)

XI

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you didn't have to do that

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fifteen is the worst age.

but you had your first kiss at that age, and suddenly it's the best.

hirai momo, your best friend's other best friend, was your first kiss. it hurt you deep down, especially after you and momo never spoke to each other again since the freshman formal was over.

(she didn't come to the dance, like she said she wouldn't.)

but you were gonna tell her about how you were right — about jinyoung wanting to kiss you during the dance — and how she'd been a huge help. you were gonna give her a call so you could thank her for teaching you how to kiss — she was your savior — but, somehow, there was a tiny urge inside of you that kept nagging for you not to.

it's a bad idea.

you shouldn't call her.

you shouldn't always be the one trying, taking a step closer, waiting;

you shouldn't call her.

so you didn't. and she didn't. and suddenly, freshman year was over and you never once heard from momo again.

some nights you lie on your bed and wonder why you listened to that little nagging inside your head.

you could've called her instead of getting inside your own ridiculous thoughts, which apparently became the reason why you and momo ended up growing farther and farther apart through the remaining years of high school.

but sometimes, you get a faint idea at the back of your head that it had to happen, somehow.

you had to stop waiting for something you knew was never gonna come around. or was never coming true.

hirai momo is a fantasy.

you remember how you used to stare at her and think of that back when you always hung out together at her favorite diner, her eyes wide at the new milkshake flavor she just tried out, your smile hidden behind your straw, and your feelings buried so painfully deep.

they say the best things in life happen in high school, and they were right.

kissing momo was one of those things.

you were fifteen, and you were naive, and you were in love.

the graduation ceremony ended in a hitch. but that wasn't the best part — it was stepping outside of that old school you'd spent four whole years of your life in and out into the real world with nothing but great memories and wild, hopeful dreams.

it felt like fifteen was just yesterday, when it's nineteen in six months.

too soon?

"nabongs!"

you turned around immediately at the sound of your best friend's voice yelling at you from behind. instantly, you were met by jeongyeon's open arms and wide, silly grin. you laughed when she lifted you up and spun you around, both of you still in your cheap graduation gowns.

when she put you back down, you hit her on the shoulder. "you doofus! that gesture was exclusive only for girlfriends!"

she laughed— that light, familiar sound that's always calmed your every storm. "please, i was doing your ass a favor. i see no girlfriend around."