Have Faith in Me (Ianthony)

Chapter 16: But I Still Love You!

Once Anthony arrived at LAX, he immediately called an Uber to take him to his hotel. He wanted to see Ian greatly, but he was also exhausted. As soon as his small suitcase was loaded in the seat beside him and he was buckled in, he pulled out his phone to text Mari.

I'm in LA. now, but I'm gonna turn in for the day. Checking into my hotel now, see you tomorrow.

Anthony wasn't sure as to why Mari had recommended the Holiday Inn on Highland Avenue. Not only were there much closer hotels to his friend's homes and the Smosh Games Headquarters, but Anthony was indeed a very rich man. He could have easily stayed at a more ritzy hotel and he'd kind of wanted to after the last few weeks he'd had. He also wasn't sure what it was exactly that he was doing in LA. Sure, he wanted Ian back. Sure, he wanted Audrina back. Those two things were definitely true. However, he didn't have a clue in hell how to successfully execute either of those truly difficult tasks.

The wide automatic doors opened and Anthony's sneaker-clad feet stepped into the hotel. He spotted the check-in desk to the left of the lobby and ambled over to it. An elderly lady with a bright pink suitcase and a high wig was at the very front, very fussily asking about pets. An impossibly long, impatient line of tired travelers stretched out behind her. Anthony took a deep breath. He knew that this line was going to take some time.

He stepped in line and looked up, seeing that he was behind a short man with brown hair. One that was eerily familiar. In fact, he looked a bit like Ian.

"I-Ian?" Anthony whispered, barely audibly.

The man, clearly invested in his phone and not what Anthony had to say, stayed planted in his spot.
Mustering all of his courage, Anthony tapped briskly on the man's shoulder. With that, he turned around.

To both Anthony's relief and chagrin, the man was Ian, which explained why Mari had been so hellbent on him staying at this very specific hotel.

Immediately, Ian's mouth dropped. "A-Anthony?" he asked, stuttering.

"Hey...," Anthony trailed off, running a hand through his hair. "How...How are you?"

Ian shrugged. "Not too great. How about you?"

Anthony frowned. "Awful. What are we doing, Ian? Why are we doing this to each other?"

His best friend made an angered face. "I don't know, Anthony. Maybe it has to do with the fact that you sent my daughter away."

The my that came spitting out of Ian's mouth really stung Anthony and he bit his lip. "That's...I know. I'm so sorry, Ian. I made a huge fucking mistake and if I could take it back, I'd do it in a heartbeat. But I can't. All I can do is do my best to make it up to you. And Audrina. I know we can get her back, we just-"

Ian shook his head, stopping Anthony mid-sentence. "You know what, Anthony? I really don't want to hear it. You've honestly done enough."

"Ian, please," Anthony protested, "I know I fucked up. I fucked up a thousand times. And I fucked you over in the process. But I still love you. A lot. And I know you still love me. We can work things out and get her back. I just know we can."

"Why would I listen to you?" Ian asked through gritted teeth, eyes glued to the floor beneath his feet, "you've taken away everything good in my life. I'm not going to trust you, Anthony. Not now, not ever." He looked up, swallowing. "And that really fucking sucks because for a long time, you were the only person I trusted. I guess that goes to show you can't really trust anyone. Not your best friend, not the love of your life. Because no one really cares for you. They may say they do, but then they go behind your back and fucking stab you."

"Ian-"

"I'll get Audrina back, but it will not be because of you," Ian spat, "and I don't want her around you at all. I don't give two shits of a fuck if you are her biological dad. Both of her parents are scum and I will not sit idly by and let them fuck her over they way they did me."

With that, Ian turned around, shoulders hunched and slightly trembling. Anthony wanted to run straight up to his room and have another good cry, but there was just one problem: the line was nowhere near moving. In fact, the elderly lady with the pink suitcase was still at the front desk, droning on to a very tired-looking receptionist. He silently thanked the universe for not having anyone stand behind him in line.

"I've apologized," Anthony said out loud, not necessarily to Ian. "That's all I can do." He sighed deeply.

Suddenly, Ian turned around, glaring at him. "You honestly don't get it, do you?"

Anthony frowned and swallowed, awaiting for Ian to continue.

"I guess you don't," Ian muttered. He then went on to explain the meaning of his words. "Anthony, I loved you. I've always loved. Hell, I still do. But I also love Audrina and I love her as much as I love you. And I want you to know that that is a lot. My whole heart belongs to the two of you. I hate it. I fucking hate it. Because she's gone and it's because of you. You basically made me choose between the two most important people in my life and you acted like it was no big deal. You tried to reason with me! I understand that you weren't as into being a dad as I was and that was fine, but it literally tearsme apart to know that you could do that to me. But it doesn't hurt as much as living without both of you. She's gone and she's gone because of you and that meant I had to be gone, too."

Anthony felt tears prick to his eyes at Ian's confession. It killed him to hear how much he'd hurt him, especially when he loved him so much.

"I want so badly to forgive you," Ian admitted. "So badly. But I can't, not when Audrina's out there with someone that doesn't love her, doesn't appreciate her the way that she deserves. She has neglected-child syndrome and she's back with the woman that caused it in the first place. And after all of that progress, too.

"And even more than that, Anthony, I was so happy the night before it happened. You loved me, I loved you. We both loved Audrina and we had our house and Smosh and everything was perfect for a while. I know I shouldn't have expected much, but I wanted to. I wanted to so much. Everything I'd ever wanted was true. I guess I wanted so much for it to be my reality that I didn't think of all of the possible disasters it could cause. That's on me, but everything else is on you. I love you so, so much, Anthony, but I can't do this. I can't be around you knowing that you could turn on me at any second because I'll keep forgiving you. I'll keep taking you back because I'm too weak not to." He took a long, deep breath. "I think we should end Smosh."

Anthony gasped, his eyes widening. "Ian, we can't! That's our entire income! And even more, so what about the fans? If we quit, we're going to hurt so many people!"

Ian shrugged. "I think it's time I started worrying about my own happiness."

With that, Ian gripped the handle of his suitcase and rolled it to the front desk, receiving his key and never looking back.

Hello, friends! This story is almost over and because of that, I was thinking about holding a contest. The contest would be simple: just write a one shot involving the characters and situations from this story somehow. That's the only requirement. The best one shot would be added on to the end of this story and I would write an Ianthony one shot for the winner. I might give prizes for the second and third place winners, too. Would anyone be interested in that? If so, leave me a comment and I'll decide if I want to do it or not.

Thanks for reading!

-Kalina :D