"we can destroy what we have written, but we cannot unwrite it...eat this sweetish segment or spit it out. you are free."
-Anthony Burgess
you don't have to listen or understand my words.
you don't have to like what i have to say.
but you can't stop me from saying it.
you can't keep me from doing what i want to.
freewill is a faulty idea.
it lets one decide whether to do right or wrong.
whatever right may be.
it lets them choose to do the opposite.
and they will.
Sick in Body and Mind
i'm not thinking clearly.
i like it this way. when i can't think. i can't think of him...
i've been sick lately.
physically and emotionally.
i can't eat.
i can't sleep.
i can't speak.
i can't see.
is it you?
tormenting me?
i'm trying to give it time.
i'm trying to let you breathe, give you space...
let you forgive...
which way is up?
is that where i go from here?
i don't think i can get much farther down...
i'm tired of digging.
i'm tired of crying...
i don't want to wash myself clean of these same sins
over and over and over again...
let me be foul and caked in dry mud.
let me wear the evidence of my mistakes.
i don't want to hide any longer.
i ache to be by your side.
Heart
i don't want to have to pretend to be happy.
i want to actually be happy.
i want to be over you.
i want to be with you.
i want to know what i'm doing...
i want to cry,
but i don't want to need to.
i don't want to think of you
every time i hear a song,
every time someone says certain things...
every time i see something...
everything reminds me of you.
i don't want to lose you,
but i'm afraid it's already happened...
did you ever want me?
you were my everything...
you are my everything...
you are my heart...
how do i forget about my heart?
