Unrequited

Smiles All Round

In was Wednesday dance class once again.

Not that I’m complaining, I love dancing. I’ve literally danced my whole life; my mum put me in a ballet class when I was 2 and a half, then modern and tap class when I was three and then jazz class when I was 10.

I don’t do dance any more though because I’m in my last year of school and if I want to go to university next year I need all the time I can get, especially since I have drama three times a week and I’d never quit that for the world, so dancing had to go!

So, as I walk to drama with Rain, I’m smiling to myself while she groans on about how tired she is and she just knows that Josie (the choreographer) is going to kill her because she’s not going to do the dances properly.

As soon as we walk in the room I unconsciously search with my eyes for the main reason I’d never quit drama

Fin

He hasn’t arrived yet, and my stomach kind of does a little sinking feeling alight with worry for the fact that he might not even turn up today.

God … I am crushing hard!

Rain spots Mitch and runs over to him immediately, leaving me to pick up her bag and coat and drape it over a chair whilst I laugh to myself at how subtle she is!

“You need some help?” a man says from very close to my face.

I turn round hopeful, but am slightly disappointed to see it was Lawrence.

“Oh, hey Lawrence! Nah don’t worry, I’m used to picking up after her!” I say and he lets out a little laugh.

He stands there with his hands in his pockets, looking at the ground. I’ve never seen him like this; he usually oozes confidence from every crevice!

“Do you have something to ask me Lawrence, or are you just gonna look at my shoes all day?!” I say to him.

He laughs but still doesn’t move.  I notice his arm muscles... whoa, they were seriously big, but then again he is a rugby player! He actually is a really good looking boy; he could have anyone he wan-.

“I slept with Claire the other day.” He blurted out.

… Oh …. God….

“What have you done?!” I saw in a very ominous voice I must say.

Let me explain, Claire has slept with a lot of guys. Like a LOT. And she likes to think that she’s capable of just sleeping with them and that’s that, but she only ever sleeps with people that she has a lot of contact with in her everyday life … and once she’s slept with them, she starts to fall for them automatically and then … she tends to go a liiiiiiiiittle crazy.

I grabbed his stupidly perfect arm muscles with my hands, and did a girlie “whoop” in my head at how big they really were!

“You must be insane. You see her three times a week and you know what happened to the last guy!” I say in his face a little too loud.

Lawrence shouts sshh at my and literally turns me around and picks me up from behind and walks me out of the room into the right hand corridor outside of the hall, because everyone always uses the left one and no one goes down this one.

He doesn’t just let me go when we get there he throws me off him and spins me round to face him, and his face is rather angry.

“Look, I don’t want everyone to know, ok? So don’t go shouting it out like that and making it really obvious who we’re talking about! Especially when she’s in the same room as us!” whilst he said this he kept edging closer towards me and before either of us knew it I was pressed up against the wall and he had both his hands either side of my head and was barely inches away from my face.

Everything I was going to say literally just evaporated as my body heated up at how close he was to my face.

He was panting quite heavily from his big rant that he just had, and it was so sexy!

We both just stared at each other for a while, no one doing anything, until we heard the door swing open and hit the wall hard.

“Lawrence I … Well what’s going on here?” We heard a shrill voice say.

Lawrence didn’t move off me straight away so I shoved him really hard away from me whilst simultaneously whispering;

“It’s already begun!”

Because the girl in the doorway was the one and only Claire!

“Nothing Claire, I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone!” I say with a wink to Lawrence, and as I leave I see that my comment has made Claire the happiest girl in the world thinking that she and Lawrence could be a couple of lovebirds! HA

I walk back into the hall laughing to myself, thinking sarcastically how he’s the luckiest boy in the world right now!

And then I saw my boy – technically my boy in my mind – Fin.

He was sitting at the piano but facing away from it, in fact he was using the piano as a backrest. I start walking up through the aisle of chairs towards him.

I just wanted to chat to him, just wanted to stand with him for a bit, let him make me smile.

His head looks up from his phone and smiles in my direction. I smile back and bite my lip to conceal the giant grin that is trying to escape. I keep walking towards him and he gets up off the piano stool to walk towards me … of so I thought.

He makes it to the top of the aisle at the same time I do, but he keeps smiling in the direction to my left. He quickly notices me and pats me on the right shoulder and says;

“Hey Ally, you alright?”

But doesn’t wait for a reply, instead he runs while bent down low towards the door to the left of me … to Alison.

He picks her up and she’s surprised because she didn’t see him coming and she laughs as he lifts her into the air and spins her round. He puts her down gently, grabs her head and kisses her on the lips.

I watch the scene in front of me.

Disappointment etched onto every feature of my face; every muscle of my body.

I hate Fin.

And I hate that I don’t hate him, even more.