Chapter One - Poundtown
Ms. Davis lay in her tiny plastic Barbie doll bed in a puddle of her own piss. She groaned sleepily as her eyes shot open, her eyebrows raising in alarm at the sight of a figure looming over her, as if it were stalking her in the dark. "Hang on," she said, grabbing her cellphone and flicking on the bright on the mysterious figure. It was Ms. Appel, bright-eyed and cheery. "Hi, how are you?" Ms. Davis asked casually, also sitting up. They kissed briefly.
"Yeah?" Ms. Appel answered. "It's about a half-hour to our trip to Tulum, c'mon we gotta go." Ms. Davis groaned in annoyance, and got up to go downstairs to her mother's grave and Ms. Appel, who were waiting for her in their musty smelling kitchen.
Even after she went to sleep, Ms. Davis could not get to sleep. She stayed up reading and scrolling through Instagram, and messaged her crush that lasted for 4 years, Mr. Draper, who is currently in rehab. "I just kept wondering why I have it in my heart to not talk to you," she wrote. "Am I afraid of rejection?" He responded quickly: "I am in the same position. Tell me why you have a voice of a cigarette smoker."
Ignoring his insult, she quickly wrote, "I'm afraid of losing my friends, how's rehab going?" he responded by saying, "It fucking rocks dude."
Ms. Davis rolled her eyes at Mr. Draper's response, rehab was not fun, she knew firsthand. Then she went to sleep, ignoring the notification sounds coming from her phone.
Psychologist Tony Lopez, director of the Sleep and Neuroimaging Lab at Stanford sent her a disgusting meme of Shrek twerking on his companion, Donkey. But Ms. Davis didn't feel like she could sleep, so she got out of bed and logged on to her computer to see what the internet had to offer her. She realized that in just over an hour, Instagram would ban her account for fox posting explicit content and dm'ing a girl 20 years her junior and sending her gore images.
Ms. Davis put both of hands on face in shock, "What the absolute donkey balls!? Why doesn't anybody like nice girl like me! Fuckin' whores!" Ms. Davis angrily shouted, shocked and upset.
Disappointed, Ms. Davis got dressed, slipped on a hoodie and went out into the dark streets of Downtown Brooklyn, returning with donuts, and water. She suddenly bumped into someone.
Ms. Davis cried out in surprise, "FUCK ME HARDER DADDY!!" She began thrashing around on the ground as Mr. Draper, who is now Mr. Potter and a professional model, began to grope her breasts and vagina. She did not know that Mr. Draper has a live-in girlfriend and two children, so it had never occurred to her that he would take a step into the realm of fetishism. Ms. Davis said that he had only tried to assault her once.
"One night I was sitting on Mr. Payan's dick, it was heavenly!~" Ms. Davis moaned in delight, rubbing her hands all over her body, imagining it was actually Mr. Payan's hands on her.
Ms. Davis has been in and out of a residential rehabilitation program for PTSD since December. But she feels she has not been properly medicated, and no one knows if she is still suffering from that one night where Ms. Acosta shot her in the skull with her emo Spanish gun. "YoUr WeArInG BlAcK ItS NoT DrEsS Code!" *Mexican Bang!* The scene haunts her everyday.
"What I don't get," Ms. Davis said, "Is why is someone like Mr. Draper even breathing? I don't understand." Ms. Davis questioned in agony, "Why can't Mr. Draper can't spell something so simple as breakfast!!"
She paused. "I didn't even take a shower today, I just brushed my teeth and grabbed the trash." Some of Ms. Davis' friends suggested she start a Tumblr to document her #MeAt14, but Ms. Davis was not 14, instead she was 169 years old!
Ms. Davis has since deleted her Instagram account and cancelled her OnlyFans subscriptions to Belle Delphine.
Update 2/13: After being banned from Instagram, Ms. Davis has been adding accounts for "mellfuc" and "ninjacidude #mellafuc" to her.
Update 2/14: On Saturday afternoon, around 5 PM, Ms. Davis, newly gave birth to her 50th child, a dicktionary, the dicktionary had they/them pronouns. Their name was Cockwallace Paul-Davis, they were such a beautiful dicktionary, they had long, flowing, blond hair that shined like the sun and had ocean blue orbs that shined like the stars. The father was Logan Paul.
Ms. Davis deleted the account and re-uploaded all their dicktionaries onto a new account, where a photo of a giant penis was captioned, "In order to be a dicktionary, one must: 1) have a dick, 2) be annoying as fuck, and 3) be transgender. Me at 14 is a dicktionary." The new account has already made 2,800 hits in under 3 hours.
Nikita Dragun is a digital media producer at Observer. Follow her on bestgore.com, her username is "englishhoes4lifu".
Editor: James Charles
Photo via Facebook
***
This article was updated on February 14, 2019 at 4:25 PM to include new information about Logan Paul's February 2018 suicide attempt.
***
Ms. Davis gasped dramatically as she saw the article. "Logan Paul! Why! Don't you care about Cockwallace, our beautiful child!" she cried out, then she suddenly gasped, her hand resting on the left side of her chest. Ms. Davis collapsed to the ground, gasping for air.
Author-chan's Note: What the fuck just happened? Find out in the next chapter of Novaturient, a story about the pathetic life of Ms. Davis! Hope you enjoyed!
YOU ARE READING
Novaturient
Lupi mannari(Ms. Davis x Various) Ms. Davis was accused by Republicans of prosecutorial misconduct, bias and cover-ups - and was referred to a grand jury by the attorney general. He dropped the charges. After the firing, supporters said Ms. Davis, who has won s...
